Weight loss :-)

Journey to Homemaker

The baby weight is gone!! Yipee!! I can't believe how fast I lost it this time. I gained a total of about 28 pounds, starting at 252 and ending at 280. I'm now down to 245.6! Woooo Hooo!!

I was down below my pre-pregnancy weight within a week and a half of giving birth. I'm now about six or seven pounds below that, at less than three weeks postpartum. That makes me feel a lot better about myself, because it means that I did a pretty good job of watching my weight with this last pregnancy. I have a digital scale that tracks your weight loss and your goals, and it was sooooo nice to see the little circle of stars pop up when I reached my goal of 250. I kept my goal there for a couple of weeks, for an ego booster, lol.

Now I've taken the brave step of reprogramming the scale for a new goal of 225. I hope I keep losing in the next few weeks, to keep my motivation up, because when I'm six weeks postpartum I can start exercising again, and that will really help me lose the weight. I do need to drink a lot more water though, since I'm nursing. I can't imagine how heavy I'd be now if I didn't nurse all my babies!

It will be nice to get down to 225, but I really can't wait to get down to 200. I was about that weight when I met my husband, and I think I can fit into an XL at that weight, which will be awesome, because then I can fit into off the rack clothing in most stores. Yes! I'm so sick of seeing really cute modest dresses in "normal" sizes at Walmart, but not in the plus sizes...when it clearly is a style that would translate well into a larger size! Instead the plus size stuff is ugly or clingy and unflattering. Can someone please get a famous plus size celebrity to host their own line of clothing at Walmart, Kmart, Target, etc. Instead of "Kathy Lee Woman", etc. What the heck does Kathy Lee know about plus sizes?! Although I have to say her stuff isn't TOO bad. But those designers for Target need to get a clue! Designs made of flimsy fabric that hugs every roll of fat is not going to sell well in a size 3x, people!

Okay, enough ranting. Hopefully pretty soon all this size discrimination in fashion will be irrelevant for me, because I'll be getting down into normal sizes...I hope! It's pretty bad when you can't even find patterns in your size to sew your own clothing!! If I could even just fit well into most XL clothing, I'd be satisfied! Not that I wouldn't LOVE to be a size 12, but any normal size will do, lol.

Wish me well on my weight loss journey! Maybe this will keep me accountable. It would be too embarassing to have to post if I GAIN weight!

Laundry Schedule

Journey to Homemaker

This is the laundry schedule I have worked out for my family. I have it posted on my laundry room wall to remind me. Of course, with a new family member added, I may have to make adjustments to it!


LAUNDRY SCHEDULE

Monday--LIGHT
Tuesday--DARK
Wednesday--BATHTOWELS/HANDTOWELS
Thursday--MEDIUM
Friday--SHEETS/BIBS (I do the bibs with the sheets because the velcro tabs on the bibs won't stick to the sheets.)
Saturday--CHURCH/WORK CLOTHES (I do these on Saturday only if they somehow got missed during the week.)
Sunday--NO LAUNDRY

New Arrival!

Journey to Homemaker

As you may have guessed, in my absence from the blog, I have had my baby. She was nine pounds and 20 1/2 inches long. I had her by cesarean section a week earlier than expected, because of potential complications. As it turns out, there were no complications, and she was very healthy. I came through surgery okay, but it was a very bad experience. They did not give me enough anesthesia during the surgery, and definitely did not give me enough pain killers after the surgery. I was pretty miserable. Then I got an infection, in spite of the large amount of antibiotics I was on. It just went downhill from there. I'll spare you the details! Let's just say that this was definitely the worst of the four c-sections I've had. But at least I got a beautiful healthy baby girl out of it. :-)

She's a good baby, and sleeps very well. Unfortunately the last few mornings, she keeps stirring and getting fussy like she wants to eat, but by the time I try to get her to latch on, she's sound asleep again, and won't be awakened to eat. Then fifteen minutes later, she does it again. Luckily she sleeps in bed with me, or I'd get no sleep.

My husband went back to work today. I've been spoiled the last two weeks--he's done everything! And of course, the older three have conspired together to drive me up the wall today!! I think they've got a plan...be bad enough for mommy, and daddy might stay home! Actually the oldest isn't too bad, but the younger two are giving me a run for my money. But right now they're all in bed for a nap (yaayy) and I'm planning on taking one with the baby myself.

The nice thing about my husband staying home for two weeks is that he's realized how much work it is to care for so many little ones all by yourself. He does appreciate what I do, but I don't think he understood why I got so little done during the day. I have a hard time just keeping the house looking decent, never mind all the laundry, cleaning, etc. I'm working on it though. I just need to be more organized. But in the meantime, he found out firsthand that it's a lot tougher than he thought. There's a big difference between caring for them on the weekends, with my help, and doing it all alone for two weeks. I'm hoping to get a lot done today so that he'll be impressed when he comes home. But I'm already pretty tired, so we'll just have to see how it goes!!

The Value of Children

Journey to Homemaker

I found an article that speaks of how children are a blessing, and not a burden. I thought they put it very well, especially in all the ways children are a reward. It is definitely worth reading, and remembering, for a way to respond to critics of large families.

www.unlessthelordmagazine.com/articles/valueof.htm

Disappointing news

Journey to Homemaker

It looks like there will be no VBAC for me. I've exhausted nearly all my sources. It's been such an emotional roller coaster for me, getting my hopes up, then losing hope, that I just can't take the stress anymore. So I am scheduling a c-section for the first week in March. I did find a holistically-inclined hospital in the area, and luckily my insurance covers it. It's small and almost brand new. They have a waterbirthing room, doula services, and use alternative labor methods like aroma therapy, lavender bath salts, etc. There's even a masseuse on staff! I won't be using the other stuff since I'll be having a c-section, but maybe I'll take advantage of the masseuse. :-)

The best thing is that they don't take the baby away from you. If the baby is healthy, she and the dad stay with you for the rest of surgery, then they wheel you out with the baby in your arms, and you recover in your postpartum room with your family at your side. Soooo different from most hospitals. They allow you to put off the bathing, weighing, etc. to establish a bond and start breastfeeding. It sounds so great, I'm almost looking forward to it, even though it is a hospital birth, and a surgery.

I usually have such easy pregnancies, but it seems like the more kids I have, the harder the last month is. I'm not feeling too great. If I have a very stressful day, I start feeling sick and have a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions. I'm looking forward to the baby coming, especially to the two weeks of rest I will get afterwards! I always sleep so well when I'm breastfeeding a newborn (gotta love those breastfeeding hormones) and my husband will be home to take care of me for a while.

Unfortunately my doula seems to be backing out on me. I can't even get ahold of her on the phone. Since we have no family or friends in the area, we have no one we can trust to watch our children. So I may have to go through the surgery alone. Since the hospital has volunteer doulas, I'm going to try to get one of those. It will be disappointing to not have anyone who cares about me with me. But as long as I can keep the baby with me, I'll be happy enough.

Whew!

Journey to Homemaker

Last night I had such a stressful time with the kids, that by the time I sat down to relax, I was having contractions like crazy. They felt like Braxton Hicks, which is no big deal. But then I started feeling sick and my back started hurting...uh oh! I started thinking about everything not done, the baby clothes, the hospital bag, etc.

So I decided to try to pack a bag quickly, just in case. As it turns out, I'm worse off than I thought. I had done two loads of baby stuff, but when I looked through it, it was all either summer stuff, 3-6 month stuff, blankets, etc. Nothing useful! Grrrr! So I started dragging out all the baby clothes boxes, searching for baby girl winter clothes. Unfortunately, my daughter was born in a warmer climate in late spring, so it was all either boy stuff, or girl summer stuff!! Now I realize I don't even have the right baby clothes to wash!!!

I found a couple of not-so-cute sleepers, sweaters, etc. and threw them in the wash. Then I printed off my birth plan, which was still in progress, tried in vain to locate my medical records (since I'm switching o.b.'s) . By the time I put the clothes in the dryer and made a list of stuff to take to the hospital, I was too tired to pack. At that point I figured it probably wasn't real labor, just pre-labor. I do think that the baby descended a little bit. So it gave me a big kick in the pants to get ready!

Unfortunately, I can't find our infant car seat. I'm suspecting I may have sold it before we moved the last time, thinking I wanted a new one anyway. We did that with a lot of stuff, and wouldn't you know it, we don't have the money to replace it!! We should at least be able to get the baby home if we don't have the other kids with us, because one of our car seats is a convertible car seat that can be adjusted to face to the rear for an infant. We just can't take the whole family anywhere.

So now I have to find an infant car seat AND buy new baby clothes. Which is so annoying, since I already had a girl! I thought I was all set. That'll teach me not to plan ahead. :-) But at least God is giving me a kick in the pants...I had another bad day today, and got nauseous and crampy again...a good reminder to not slack off, just in case!

Preparing for a New Baby

Journey to Homemaker

I can't believe there's only four weeks til my due date! Nothing is done, aaarrrrggh!! I've been so busy trying to find a midwife, that everything else has fallen by the wayside. I don't know if I'm going to have a homebirth, because the midwives are all nervous about taking me. Not only have I had three c-sections, but I have gestational diabetes and my babies are big. Let this be a lesson to those who haven't had c-sections--do NOT let them push you into one, unless it is truly necessary for your health or the baby's. Doctors nowadays are too impatient and worried about lawsuits to "allow" you to have a baby the way God intended. It is estimated that half of all US cesareans are unneccesary. And if you've had one, learn how to avoid getting stuck with one in the future.

Fortunately, I found a local hospital that is actually holistically inclined, believe it or not. They promote waterbirth, use of aromatherapy, and rooming in. There actually isn't even a regular nursery, just a special-care nursery. They're very open-minded. There's no recovery room for c-section patients either. After the baby is delivered, if the baby is doing fine, she stays with the dad, in the OR while surgery is finished, then put into your arms as they wheel you out, and you "recover" in your regular postpartum room. It sounds SOOOO much nicer than normal hospital procedure. At least if I have to have a c-section this time, it won't be as traumatic. But I sure could use some prayers that I don't have to have a cesarean. Pray I can have a vaginal birth...or better yet, that the baby comes so quickly at home that I won't have a chance to go in for a c/s. Not likely with my big babies, but "I can do all things in Him, Who strengtheneth me."

I did buy a couple of cool baby things yesterday. One is a "Nursing Nest" it's a firm foam rubber little bed with a terry cloth cover on it. It's shaped to hold a baby laying on its side, for nursing. It was created by a mom after her c-section. You can use it for co-sleeping, table-top nursing, etc. It was forty dollars, but I got it on clearance at Babies r Us for thirty.

The other thing was the Ultimate Baby Wrap. It's a wrap-style carrier. It seems very comfortable and versatile. I haven't tried it with a baby yet, but I plan to try it with my youngest, who is around thirty pounds. It's supposed to support up to 35. It was forty dollars. I've heard people online say it's too hard to learn to use. I didn't think so at all. I think it will probably take a little practice to master getting it on quickly, but it comes with a DVD so it was pretty easy to figure out.

I always "wear" my babies outside the house, when running errands. But at home all the carriers seemed inconvenient, especially for breastfeeding. The only carrier I had found to nurse in easily was the NoJo sling (a padded sling similar to the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder). I found it to be too hot, and the babies didn't like nursing in it, probably because it felt too claustrophobic. The Ultimate Baby Wrap isn't padded, but it's very comfy. It is wide, so it can be spread out over your shoulders to minimize the pressure. It supports the baby well, and is easily adjustable for different positions. The only thing I don't think I'll like is that the DVD says you need help to get the baby into the back carry position. Although I thought I'd read online there's a way to get a baby in the back carry position alone. We'll see how comfortable it is.

Now I just need to wash all the rest of the baby clothes, clean the whole house, hand wash all the baby items like the breast pumps, and find a car seat. Yikes!

New Mealtime "Chores"

Journey to Homemaker

Although my kids are very young (all under four) I know they need to be learning responsibility and a work ethic now. However, it is easy to say and hard to do. Sometimes it's just easier to do it yourself...or at least it feels that way. In the long run, it's much harder, both on you and your children. I swore I'd never be one of those moms, but...well, then you actually HAVE kids, lol!

One reason my house gets messy is that I'm not sticking to a schedule, then I'm running behind and shooing the kids off to bed, leaving a mess behind. The kitchen and dining area is a particular problem. The other day I bought a little Scunci steam machine. It came with a "bonus" rechargable floor sweeper. It's pretty cheap, but it's very lightweight and cordless. I thought it would be great to have my oldest son sweep the floor with it. He can't sweep well with a broom, he just ends up pushing the dirt around. But with training, he's doing a pretty good job.

The sweeper doesn't get the floor perfectly clean, but it gets it good enough. I try to have my youngest son pick up all the food he threw, and my daughter push the high chairs over to the breakfast bar. Then my oldest sweeps. I've taught him how to unplug it, turn it on and use it, then turn it off and plug it back in. The other kids love it, so sometimes they want a turn too. So far it's working pretty well. It helps that I've got them back on a schedule. They were napping way too late.

I have to mention that I love the steamer so far. It's a little bottle that you fill with water and plug in, and it comes with attachments. So far I used it to get off the stuck-on food on the linoleum (I'm not telling you how long it was there). Being nine months pregnant, I just don't have the energy to scrape that stuff off, and so the floor ends up not getting mopped often enough, because why mop a floor if it's going to have stuff still stuck on it?

I also used the steamer to clean off some calcification around the kitchen faucet, and some nasty stuff stuck inside the kitchen trash can. I noticed that while I was cleaning off the trash can lid, it did a great job. You know how plastic stuff with a textured surface is impossible to keep really clean? The dirt always gets imbedded in the texturing, and it never looks new again. Well, the steam cleaner blew the dirt right out of the tiny pores in the plastic! It looked great!

My next task is to tackle the grime in the bathtub. I've been putting that off because I usually ask my husband to do it when I'm pregnant--I don't like being trapped in a shower with chemicals. But he's been so busy, that when he has free time I have other things that are more important. We'll see how well the steamer works. If I can get up the dirt really well, then I plan on having my husband clean the tub with cleaners, then from then on keeping up with it better and just using vinegar and water to clean it. I have to admit, I was actually having fun cleaning with this thing! I wish I'd gotten it a long time ago.

Anyway, so far the cleaning routine is going well. They like cleaning up most of the time, and it makes me feel good to lay down for a nap, knowing that everything from lunch is cleaned up.

Cloth Diaper Washing Routine

Journey to Homemaker

After much research and trial and error, I've arrived at a routine that makes cloth diapering tolerable for me. I'm pretty lazy! :-) It will be better when I have enough diapers that I don't have to stress getting them washed and dried in time for the kids' bedtime every night.

I use Fuzzi Bunz for nighttime, which seem to work well with the microfiber inserts. I probably need two inserts at night, but don't have enough yet. I plan to try Happy Heinys as well, which are similar but have velcro-type closures instead of snaps. During the day I use prefolds in a diaper wrap. Right now I use the Proraps and some cheapo Gerber vinyl pants which I hate. The Proraps are good, except that when poop gets stuck in the gathers of the leg gussets, it's a PAIN to rinse out, plus one wrap got stained orange even though I rinsed the poop right off and washed it, and the kids hadn't eaten anything orange recently. I think eventually I'll go with all pocket diapers, they seem easier to deal with. If I do keep some wraps, I'll buy much better prefolds--chinese DSQ. I don't use diaper pins, I use Snappis, they're pretty good.

I line each diaper with a disposable Gerber diaper liner. This catches a lot of the poop and can be flushed--a big advantage when you're using cloth wipes! Unfortunately, my daughter has started pulling them out of her diaper when I put her to bed, and even if she doesn't, she moves around so much that they get twisted inside the diaper and don't do much good. Oh well! I make sure not to use a diaper cream that is fish-oil-based, because many diaper creams will create a build up of residue and make for stinky diapers. After a lot of research, I decided to use Aveeno cream, which is a good product anyway. I sometimes use cornstarch baby powder too, which I haven't heard causes any buildup problems.

For a diaper changing station, I didn't want the traditional changing table. My kids would just get into all the stuff, plus it's in the dining area off the kitchen, so I wanted it to blend in more. I bought a short cabinet with an upper drawer and two lower cabinet doors from Target, on clearance for $50 (a great deal). It looks pretty good. I use a changing table pad on it, plus a baby quilt and a waterproof pad on top of that. The cabinet is longer than most changing tables, so it's more comfortable for the kids. All the diapers are in the cabinet, while the creams, powders, Snappis, and diaper liners are within easy reach in the drawer. Next to the cabinet on the floor I keep a five gallon bucket with the lid laying loosely on top. This is for the dirty diapers. I use the dry pail method (if I used the wet pail method, I'd have to use a pail with a locking lid for safety). I put the wet diapers in this pail. I also keep a covered trash can next to the cabinet for the occasional use of a disposable wipe or diaper.

When there is a poopy diaper, I bring the dirty diaper and the diaper pail down to the bathroom. There is a second empty 5 gallon bucket down there for rinsing. I use a Mini Shower, a sprayer that attaches to the toilet supply line for rinsing poopy diapers off into the toilet. No swishing for me! However, I found I was getting water ricocheting off the toilet and diaper and getting everywhere, so I now use the rinse bucket, I hold the cleaner edge of the poopy diaper over the edge of the rinse bucket, and rinse the poop off into the bucket using the Mini Shower. In between diapers I like to empty the bucket into the toilet, to keep the water level low in the bucket. After rinsing each poopy diaper, I put it into the dirty diaper pail. When done, I either take the bucket back upstairs to the changing area, or go straight to the laundry room if I'm ready to wash diapers.

I wash diapers every day right now. That's a necessity, since I don't have many diapers and have two kids in them. My oldest who is almost four, sometimes wears them, or he wears underwear, or disposables. Whatever is on hand. Right now he doesn't wet himself too often. I'll probably continue to do a load every day even when I have more diapers, but it will be nice to do it out of preference rather than a need.

I run a little hot water with a little washing soda in it, then switch it to cold almost right away. The hot is just to dissolve the washing soda. You don't want to do an initial rinse or wash with hot, it will set the poop stains. Some people wash the diapers twice, but I do a rinse cycle on cold, then add detergent and do a wash on hot. Some people do another rinse cycle with a little white vinegar afterwards, I don't unless I think it's necessary.

After the rinse cycle, I add detergent (many websites recommend using only half the recommended amount of detergent, others say even that is too much, use only 1-2 tablespoons). The amount of diapers I wash is so small that I find I need to add some clothing to get enough agitation for the diapers to get clean. So I usually throw in the pajamas or sweat pants that have been peed on and are light to medium in color.

The detergent I use is Sun. I've heard Allen's Naturally is great for pocket diapers (pockets are a little trickier to clean) but I don't use that, it's too expensive. I found a site that compares detergents for diaper washing, they said Sun was a good choice. You don't want to use a laundry soap, that will build up on diapers. It must be a detergent, and shouldn't have dyes, softeners, fragrances, or optical brighteners. Some children have reactions to these ingredients. NEVER use a softener or detergent with softeners, as the softeners reduce the absorbency of the diapers. Sun is cheap and I'm having good luck with it. I use my homemade laundry soap on our regular clothes, it seems to be working okay.

After washing, I check the diapers for stains or smell before drying. It's best to dry wraps and covers by air, because this lengthens the life of the covers. However, due to necessity I usually dry them in the machine, on low, with the clothing they were washed in. Double check the microfiber inserts. They are so plush and hold so much liquid, that they are often still slightly damp when the other stuff is dry. But they're so absorbent, they work great!

For the cloth wipes, I pretty much treat them as I do the diapers. I use them in a wipes box with a solution of 2 cups warm water, 2-3 drops of tea tree oil, 2-3 drops of lavender, and 1 tablespoon of olive oil, swished around, then add folded cloth wipes. The tea tree oil helps them last longer. Without it, they'd probably go rancid in a couple of days. I wouldn't keep them longer than a week. So don't make up more than you'll use in about 5 days, otherwise you're wasting the wipes solution and just having to re-wash them without having even used them. I didn't think I'd like using cloth wipes, but I do. I often use wipes to clean faces and high chair trays, so not only is this saving me money, but I feel better using natural things on my kids' faces and hands. I don't buy wipes, I think that's a waste. I use old baby wash cloths that I got at garage sales, and cut up old receiving blankets. You could use regular wash cloths or cut up old towels too, but I find the old baby washcloths work pretty well, and are the right size.

So, that's my routine. It's a lot better than when I tried cloth diapers the first two times. I would say that having the right diapers and tools are essential to sticking with it. And if you do a lot of research and find what works for you, and give yourself time to practice and get used to it, it gets easier. I figure when the new baby is born, I'll be saving my family $80-100 a month, and that's based on the lowest possible prices on diapers (buying the White Cloud brand at Walmart by the super-size box). If you use pampers, you'll be saving at least twice as much as we are. Plus you'll save even more if you dry your diapers in the sun, which sanitizes and bleaches out stains the natural way. And if you like softer diapers, you can just throw them in the dryer after they've been sun dried for five minutes for a fluff-up.

All in all, it's not too bad, and I can think of a few things I'd like to do with that hundred dollars a month we save! ;-)

Fiesta Soup recipe

Journey to Homemaker

Fiesta Soup

I got this recipe from another homemaking blog. She had modified it from the original version she found on another blog, and I've modified it farther, I believe. I lost my copy of the recipe, so this is what I make, from memory. My apologies to the creator and the person who posted it on their site, wish I could give credit! It's pretty cheap and versatile, and even thought there's no meat, my husband likes it. I like to freeze the extra, if there is any!

1 small to medium onion, diced and sauteed (sometimes I substitute onion powder, to taste)
1 clove garlic, minced and sauteed (I often substitute garlic powder to taste)
1 can Pinto Beans, undrained
1 can Black Beans, undrained
1 can diced tomatoes (I like diced tomatoes with green chiles), undrained
1 can corn, undrained
Salt and pepper to taste
Hot sauce to taste, (optional)
1 additional can of beans, undrained (optional--I sometimes add a second can of corn if I add this can of beans)

1. Sautee onions til soft, add garlic, sautee a little longer.
2. Put onions and garlic in soup pot along with all canned ingredients.
3. Add additional seasonings as it cooks.
4. Simmer til it seems done to you, stirring often. The longer it simmers, the better it tastes.

I love this recipe. It is soooo easy, especially if you substitute seasonings instead of sauteeing the onion and garlic. It's really good and filling too.

Sewing

Journey to Homemaker

Candy at Genuine Profit (http://genuineprofit.lifewithchrist.org/) is doing a homemaking series about necessary homemaking skills. You should read it, her blog is really great. She mentions sewing, which is a very important homemaking skill. I really don't know how to sew, though I made myself a jumper once. It wouldn't have been too bad, if I hadn't chosen a plaid material (note: new sewers should pick a random print like flowers, not one with lines that have to be lined up properly, lol). I wear it just around the house.

I have plans (we'll see if they get done) to make several baby items. First on my list is a baby carrier. I'm trying to decide between a wrap and a Mei Tai style. I may try both. You can't mess up a wrap, just cut the material to size and hem. I think I can handle that. ;-) My big problem is getting the machine going. It's used, and I keep having problems with it. Probably it's a tension problem. I have NO idea what I'm doing! Maybe today I'll have time to set it up. I'm sure it needs some basic maintenance, like oil, etc.

Even if you don't know what you're doing, try to find someone to help or research online so you can teach yourself. You may never be great at it, but you should have basic skills to teach your children. Then find someone who can tutor your daughters to improve their skills! I'm really bad at it, but once I had a JoAnn's employee explain how to read the pattern, the jumper was really pretty easy. I chose one of those super-easy patterns. Even though I have NO patience, I was still able to do it. So just give it a try!

Party Update

Journey to Homemaker

My wonderful husband stayed up after I went to bed last night, and cleaned my dirty kitchen, tidied my messy living room, did all the dishes, baked me a cake, and left a present (chocolates), a card, a nice note and a dozen roses for me. He was up til 4:30 am, the poor thing! I felt bad because I accidentally woke him up this morning, and he got up to make me and the kids pancakes.

It turns out we had a hundred dollars in the bank we'd forgotten about (thanks be to God!) so he got me the flowers, card, and chocolates, and we still have money left over for a little gas and food. And I think my mom is sending me a birthday gift, which is a check (now that I live far away, that's what I usually get), so I'll use that for food and gas too, then replace the money for a gift when the paycheck comes this week. It always amazes me how God provides!

Even though it's my birthday (observed, lol) today, I plan to finish folding all the laundry and try to bake some muffins and whole wheat bread, now that my kitchen is clean. But somewhere in between, I'm going to take a nap!!

Pity Party!

Journey to Homemaker

I admit it. I've been slacking off big time lately, and in many ways. One way is that I'm feeling sorry for myself way too much, which makes me let everything else slide even more.

Today is my birthday. There was no cake, no party, no card. Well, my aunt sent a card yesterday. But my mom forgot, so hers is coming late, and my husband forgot I think, til my aunt's card came. He did say happy birthday right before he left for work. So I was feeling sorry for myself in a big way.

As I detailed in the previous post, we're really tight on money this week, so there's nothing in the budget for even a card. Since I was feeling moody this morning, I went and bought myself a small pan of frosted brownies at the store in lieu of a "birthday cake". I figured I would celebrate my little pity party by eating most of it myself, and give some to the kids.

I was feeling rather upset with my husband because he didn't do anything to make my birthday special. He did say he'll bake me a cake tomorrow and get me a present when he gets paid next week. But to me, it was the thought that counts, and he didn't seem to put any thought into my birthday. He could have made me a card on the computer, or written me a note. So I felt pretty depressed.

But after reading some other blogs where the women talked about accepting adversity (which I'm well aware of, but choose not to think about when I'm in a mood) I decided to cancel my pity party. Don't get me wrong, I still ate half of the brownies, lol! But I'm saving a couple of pieces for my husband, making him dinner, leaving a nice note for him, and going to bed early to avoid the risk of starting to feel sorry for myself again. I'm also going to clean the house a little before I settle down to relax tonight, because I know I'll be in a better mood if I do. I may also make some refrigerator dough so I can make some bread tomorrow morning. If I get the kitchen cleaned tonight. :-)

And when St. Valentine's Day rolls around, if he forgets again, I'm not going to make a big deal about it. You see, we had decided when we married that we didn't want to celebrate St. Valentine's Day as a lovey-dovey holiday. But two years ago I changed my mind. I figured I could use another day to be treated special, lol. Then last year he forgot that I'd told him that, and I ended up getting him a card, balloon, and special chocolate bar, and brought it to his work. Even after that he didn't get me anything on the way home! (Gee, take a hint, lol.) I was sad, but I tried not to let it bother me. So if he forgets again, I'm just going to let it go. Most of the time he's a great husband, and helps me out a lot around the house. I can't complain just because he's not perfect ALL the time!

The Importance of a Pantry

Journey to Homemaker

I'm interrupting my series on modesty to bring you this important message... :-)

It occurred to me that this is a good time to bring up the importance of having a fully stocked kitchen, or better yet, a whole pantry. When Y2K was on the horizon, many people who wouldn't normally stock up food spent a lot of time and money becoming prepared for "the end of the world as we know it". Then when Y2K was a bust, they either ate up their food, gave it away, or let it sit unused to gather dust. What they didn't think about was the every day emergencies that even the most financially sound among us can experience.

It is said that most Americans are only two paychecks away from poverty, and perhaps even homelessness. For those with an available credit line, you may be able to get by for a few months more. There are so many instances where a pantry can become invaluable to the survival of the family...or at the very least, make hard times a little easier. Just think about hurricane Katrina. Many people's homes were wiped out near the coast, and a pantry in that situation might not have helped them immediately, but think of all the thousands of other homes along the coastal states that were in part or in whole, spared. They were stuck there with local supplies low, no supply trucks getting in for a long time, and the supplies that did get in went to the neediest families. If they were in an area with long-term blackouts, credit cards and checks did them no good. Only the cash they had on hand would help them, and chances are there were a lot of gougers out there profitting from the pain of others. The people who were prepared probably didn't suffer nearly as badly. They had plenty of food and water, and if they were smart, a generator and fuel, and other basic necessities. For those who weathered Katrina's aftermath rather well due to their preparedness, I'm sure some of them used their surplus food supply to help others in need.

There are many other emergencies to consider. The family breadwinner dying or becoming incapacitated. Life insurance and disability insurance helps, but most Americans are way under-insured...and how quickly will that money come in? Having basic necessities on hand gives a family time to get their resources together and find a solution. There is a lot of talk nowadays about the bird flu. I don't know if it's something to really worry about or not, but I've heard "experts" say that if it did happen, it would be catastrophic, and world-wide. There would be no other states to send relief, as they would be in the midst of chaos themselves. No one would want to go outdoors or travel for fear of contracting the lethal virus, and the supply chain would come to a standstill. What then?

I know first-hand how important a pantry can be. In the past four and a half years that my husband and I have been married, he had a few bouts of unemployment (we had moved to a very family-friendly area, and shortly afterwards the job market dried up). When he did get a job, we were so far in the hole financially that it took a long time to even begin to dig ourselves out. During those hard times, we had to depend on a local food bank for help. It was very hard, because my husband felt like he'd failed us, and I felt bad going to the food bank because I kept thinking that maybe I was taking food away from people who were even worse off than we were. But we really did need it. When we had more money, we started our food pantry. When another hard time hit, it was much better--the extra food saw us through. Instead of trying to figure out how to buy food and pay for gas (very necessary so my husband could get to work), we were able to get by, because all the money went in the gas tank.

Right now money is pretty tight. We're getting ready for the baby, and there's so much we need (we stupidly sold a lot before our last move, because a lot of it was second hand anyway). Plus me and my "pregnancy brain" forgot to pay some bills, so now we're behind...and since I read Fascinating Womanhood, luckily I don't have to worry about the bills anymore, because I turned that over to my husband. We paid our rent this week, and that used most of it up. It's been very stressful trying to figure out how to get gas in the tank and keep food on the table. We do have enough food, but you know how it is when you run low...you're always missing something needed for every recipe!! So it's an exercise in frustration trying to put a meal together. Luckily we do have baking supplies, and I hit a sale a few weeks ago on chicken--one pound of thighs for a dollar!!!! I stocked up on chicken, though not as much as I'd have liked, only 10 packs ...no freezer space. :-( I'd be a lot better off if I hadn't let the kitchen become a disaster area. Dirty kitchen=no desire to cook!

What I wouldn't give for a pantry right now! I told my husband as soon as we catch up, we're stocking up! I think a lack of food in the house is particularly hard for the wife, because she's the one who has to put the meals together, and worries about it. And if she lets herself express frustration (which I admit to doing this week, I'm afraid) it can make the husband feel that she's criticizing him.

In the future, I'll try to post more about a pantry and what should be in it. In the meantime there are plenty of websites on the web with this kind of info.

Modesty, Part 2

Journey to Homemaker

Modesty is crucial to maintain the moral backbone of any decent society. When we dress in a way that unnecessarily stimulates the sexual drives of others, we contribute to the increasing frequency of adultery, fornication, obsession with pornograpy, rape, and child molestation. And that's just for starters. God intended for our bodies to be enjoyed by our spouses, not strangers. Some people may disagree with this opinion, and for those who have angry reactions to it I would say wait and read further, because that reaction, although strangely emotional, is not uncommon, especially among Christians. I plan to address such reactions later.

It is important to safeguard modesty for many reasons. For one thing, the way we dress affects other people's opinions and treatment of us. When I started to wear only modest clothing, I was treated with much more kindness and respect. Even now as an overweight woman, I recieve more respect than many thin woman who are immodestly dressed. When I am modestly dressed and pregnant, people will literally trip over themselves holding open doors for me, asking if I need help bagging my groceries, letting me cut in front of them in grocery store lines, etc. Of course not everyone is so kind, but I see it much more often now than I did on past occassions when I didn't dress modestly.

Our dress will influence the way our children dress. They will take cues on what is appropriate from observing us. You may think nothing of your daughter going around in shorts at age five, but when she's sixteen and flirting with boys, you might not like seeing her leave the house with a boy, dressed in a halter top and short-shorts. Especially when you catch the boy "eyeing" her. And if you women don't feel uncomfortable, believe me, your husbands surely must, since they know how the mind and emotions of a teenage boy work. Also, even at a young age, with all the perverts out there trolling the parks, libraries, and school yards, do you really want your daughter to be dressing like a worldly teenager, exposing most of her body? I myself would prefer not to have my daughter stand out like that in the eyes of a molester.

How we dress also affects how other people feel around us. In the workplace, many women dress completely inappropriate. Their clothing isn't even professional by worldly standards! How do you think men feel around a woman who wears tight, revealing, or low-cut clothing? Granted, many men probably enjoy it, because their standards are so low. At the very least, it's distracting to them while they are doing their jobs. At worst, it can cause discomfort and even great temptation to decent men who are trying to be faithful to Our Lord, and to their wives.

Now that's not to say that a man's immodest dress doesn't affect women too--it does, just not as often and not nearly as dramatically. Men are just as responsible for the way they dress as women. However, immodesty is a much greater problem with women's clothing. You don't see too many men dressed immodestly at church, but you often see women, especially young women, in sheer blouses, low-cut shirts, short or clingy dresses, or skirts with slits up to the thigh. With men the worst you usually see in church might be tight pants.

One thing many women don't understand is the way men "work". God designed men to be the "hunter", the protector. Because men take on such great responsibility caring for and protecting a family (if he is fulfilling his God-given, traditional role). In order to give a man the incentive to take on such great responsibility, there had to be a big "payoff"--something to make him loyal and faithful to his wife and family. For women, there is a need to nurture, and to be protected and loved. For men, their drive is sexual. Marital intimacy is the main source of love for a man. A woman feels like being more intimate when she is loved, a man feels more loved when his wife is intimate with him. In order to give men this driving force, God created man to have strong sexual desires and responses.

Men are very visually oriented. They react very quickly and strongly to visual stimulation, especially of a sexual nature. So when a man sees a woman's naked body, or even the form or outline of a female body, it usually produces a very strong and immediate sexual response in him. That doesn't make him a pervert--it makes him a MAN. How he responds to those urges determines the kind of man he is. If the woman he sees isn't his wife, then it is his responsibility to do everything in his power to shut down his sexual urges. He must look away, try to think of something else, or escape the situation if necessary. And good men do this every day...usually many times every day, because due to the world around him, he has to. Sexuality is thrust in front of him on a daily basis. Even if he avoids television and the internet, he sees nearly naked women on billboards, newsstands, at convenience stores, even at work.

For many men, it is a daily struggle. And if that man has made the mistake of engaging in premarital sex or using pornography at an earlier time in his life, it will be a hundred times harder for him. Since men are visually oriented, such images are usually seared into their memories. Satan delights in throwing those memories and images in his mind's eye at every possible opportunity, because it is such an easy weakness to take advantage of. And for women, their downfall is usually pride and vanity...which works out perfectly for Satan, because a woman desires to attract the attention of men, so for vanity's sake they dress provocatively. This plays right into his hands, because her curves are just what Satan needs to tempt good men to do evil. And so the cycle continues, and worsens...

Modesty

Journey to Homemaker

I wanted to say a few things about modesty. In today's world, the very word itself seems to be "out of style". People who believe in modesty are ridiculed as religious fanatics, judgemental, prudish, uptight, and even more ridiculous...as perverts! In just a few short decades, the standards of modesty that has been the norm for all decent citizens of every civilized nation for most of human history have been virtually obliterated.

Why should we as a society worry about modesty? The extinction of most empires throughout history can be directly linked to increasing immoral behavior prior to their demise. Rome is a perfect example. Before the fall of the Roman Empire, it had steadily declined into worse and worse pagan beliefs and practices, indecent dress, gluttony, and immoral sexual practices. Now look at the state of America over the last fifty years. We've gone from a society of relatively law-abiding, decent, and primarily God-fearing people to a cesspool of drugs, violence, paganism or atheism, and sexual degredation. Families are being dismantled. Women have been "masculinized" and goaded into the workplace unnecessarily, children shipped to daycares, men trapped into working longer hours to pay the bills for the luxuries that their family feels they need to reward themselves with for all their hard work. Even worse, the men have been emasculated and made to feel that they are some kind of neanderthal every time they try to express themselves in a dominant or manly way.

So what does all this have to do with modesty? The moral decay of this country began small, with the erosion of basic standards of decency. Modesty was the first to go. In future posts, I plan to point out the importance of modesty, why we often become angry and defensive when the issue of modest dress comes up, and some advice to those who wish to become a better Christian example through our dress.

Pre-eclampsia / optimal fetal positioning

Journey to Homemaker

I apologize to those who are not pregnant right now for all the baby-related stuff, but that's just where I'm at right now. I'll give birth and go back to more normal mom stuff, lol!

I wanted to write about pre-eclampsia because a lot of women don't realize how serious it is. There is a lot of info on preeclampsia.org about it, but you have to take what they say with a grain of salt. Although they are more educated than doctors on the causes and treatments, etc. (docs think there's no known cause and no known cure, and the only treatment is low salt intake and bedrest, which is WRONG) they still hold to the party line that the only cure is delivery of the baby. According to Dr. Brewer's research and experience, with proper diet the risk of pre-eclampsia is virtually non-existent. He did his research in an area of California with low incomes, poor nutrition, and very high ratios of pre-eclampsia in pregnancies. The woman he worked with lowered their risk from 25-30% down to .5%.

His research made a lot of sense to me, and I plan to follow his diet in an effort to avoid developing PE again. I've added his website, www.blueribbonbaby.org, to my links section.

I also added a link to a great site, www.spinningbabies.com. This is GREAT info on things to do to get your baby in the right position for birth. Having a baby in the wrong position greatly adds to the risk of your having a c-section, since doctors are so quick to pronounce that the baby is too big, your pelvis is too small, etc. and just want to cut you open. Less time, less hassle, more money for them. Less risk for them too (in their eyes) because they don't have to worry about possible cord prolapse and other rare emergencies that would cause parents to want to sue. Of course, there's more risk to you, especially down the line, but during a hospital birth, who cares about you?

The spinningbabies website is down at the moment, but hopefully will be up soon. They seem to be having some technical difficulties. Keep checking back, it's worth it. They teach many exercises and techniques for turning baby (that don't involve anyone pushing on your stomach) including using a birthing ball, a rebozo sling, and many other techniques. I highly recommend it.

The Search for a Midwife

Journey to Homemaker

The search is on...and I'm getting tired of searching! I have decided to have a VBAC at home, after having three prior cesarean sections...thirteen months apart each time. Oh yeah, and my babies are huge. Wonder why I'm still searching?

Most midwives who are licenced or certified are a little hesitant. Particularly in my state, since there aren't many licensed midwives yet. They're worried if anything goes wrong it will hurt the midwife community in our state. Hello people, haven't you read the research? It would be more dangerous for me to continue having c-sections than to have VBACs. The rates of uterine rupture during a VBAC for mothers who are NOT given induction/augmentation drugs is about the same as the risk of having a prolapsed cord or a placental abruption for any mother...about 1% or so. The greatest cause of uterine rupture is not a prior c-section, but the mother receiving those drugs, whether she is a prior c/s or not.

Anyway, I'm going to have to go with a non-certified, or a non-licensed midwife. That's okay by me, a license from the state does not guarantee a good midwife. Some midwives just don't want the hassle from Uncle Sam, or the limitations the government imposes. One midwife I've contacted has 19 years experience, and has done home VBACs, including one for a woman with more c/s than me. The other one doesn't have nearly as much experience, but seems really knowledgable and definitely has strict standards she uses to choose who she will work with. She agrees it would be safer for me in the long run to start having VBACs. The risks to the mother go up with each c/s she has. They're not as bad as the doctors often say (mine has tried to guilt-trip me into a tubal ligation--NOT happening). Of course they don't tell you about these risks with the first two c/s, only when they realize you are serious about having a large family. What is it about these doctors being against large families? Haven't they ever heard of repeat business??

I have found a doula already. I'm really happy with her, she's very nice, I like her personality, and I really feel like we are "on the same page" about many things. She's not certified with DONA (Doulas of North America) yet, but she's done all the book work and workshops, and has attended the birth of several friends already. She's considered a volunteer doula, because she's not charging for her work, she just asks the mother to fill out papers to help her get certified. I'm happy to do that in exchange for the free care, especially since I think she's going to be great. She's also going to do postpartum doula work for me as well, coming to the house after the birth for two hours a couple of times a week, for several weeks. I'm really thrilled about that, since I will have four small children at that point. That will be free as well. She'll hold the baby if I want, watch the kids, do a load of laundry or dishes, tidy up around the house, talk to me, etc. Just having someone there to talk to will be great. I'm also going to talk to another doula about being a back-up in case anything happens with the doula I chose.

Now all I have to do is talk to the last midwife, make a decision, sew a baby sling and other stuff, get all the baby clothes out of boxes and wash them, unpack all the boxes left from moving in, clean the house, find a chiropractor, start doing the spinning babies exercises to get the baby in the right position for birth, buy or sew cloth diapers, find a birthing tub to rent...the list goes on!!

My first birth was a nightmare, ending in a c/s of course. I'll have to tell my birth stories another time, but it was bad, let me tell you. So I hope for this birth to be easier, more peaceful, less stressful, and an overall positive experience. I really think having a midwife is just what I need, plus the birthing tub will be great.

So I'd love people to pray that I have a safe and healthy birth...and quick and not-too-painful would be nice too! ;-)

Money and babies and money

It must be the nesting thing. I didn't have it too bad with the others, but I feel like I am getting it. I still have 8 weeks to go, and I'm not in a cleaning craze (I wish I was) but I sure am in a buying craze! I can't even go into Baby Depot or Babies R Us, for fear of bankrupting my family! My poor husband is trying to get the bills paid, and I just can't help but get "a few more little things"...which all add up.

I spent money on all the cloth diaper stuff, then I bought a standing cabinet for the kitchen that I'm using as a changing table (I wanted one with doors to keep out the toddlers who'd love to fling clean cloth diapers everywhere). Now it was on clearance for fifty bucks, which was a great deal, but again, it adds up. I'm wanting to get a dining room table, so I can use the card table downstairs for laundry folding and sewing. I have a lot of baby sewing I want to do.

We have so many things to buy, it's not even funny. We've moved a lot, and ended up selling our second hand baby stuff at yard sales. And we've hit a point where there are some things we just don't want to buy second hand anymore, like cribs and baby swings. It seems with cribs especially that either people are asking way too much for them (I mean, you can't sell a two year old crib for more than fifty percent of the original price) or they are several years old, don't have any features on them, and tend to be more rickety than the newer ones. My daughter bangs and rocks in her crib, and she's strong, so a strong crib is a necessity for our family!

I'm trying to find a sleep solution for our baby before she gets here. Usually I co-sleep, but it's gotten to the point that in our queen bed there's barely enough room for us to sleep comfortably as it is, even without a baby. We're both big. Buying a king size isn't possible right now. We've learned the hard way that for us, used beds aren't worth the trouble, it's best to try to save up for a new one. I thought of a co-sleeper or attaching a convertible crib to our bed without the fourth side on it, but we can't do either of these right now. Our mattress is on the floor because we can't fit the queen size box spring up the stairs in our new rental house. Another reason to get a king bed--we can bend a king mattress, and the box spring for a king comes in two pieces. Another possiblity is to get an Amby baby bed, as I mentioned in another post, and keep it next to the bed, bringing her into bed for feeding only. I do have a bassinet, but it's become really rickety with all the moving, and my babies are long so they don't last long in it.

My last resort method may be to use a crib mattress on the floor, butted in between our mattress and the wall. Not the best choice, but probably the only one right now.

It's amazing to me the new inventions they are coming out with now for babies. Some are kind of silly and definitely geared towards yuppies with lots of money to blow on the one baby they plan on having, but a lot of them are so cool. I love the new papasan style Nature's Touch swing from Fisher Price, and the new "bandolier" style baby bags that you can wear across your chest or back. That is great for moms who wear their babies in a sling...ever tried to carry a bulky baby bag, a purse, and a baby in a sling? Something's always falling off your shoulder! I've longed for an easy bag that would work with a sling. This one I would only use when taking just the baby somewhere, but I can transfer my wallet, makeup, and cell phone into it, and can be completely hands free! Other things I'd love to get is the hand-free double breast pump I saw online, and the Breastbottle, which is shaped like a breast. My husband bottle feeds our babies breastmilk once the baby is three months old, when I occassionally want to leave the house for a couple of hours with no one attached to me, lol. I also saw online a quad stroller that was much like a jogging stroller, but fit four. We have a double jogger now, which we love to death, but with four kids, we need another alternative. BUT...four hundred dollars is a little much for a stroller, right now. :-)

Doing okay on the cloth diapering so far, better than the first two times I tried. But I really need more microfleece inserts and some Chinese prefolds. These old Gerber prefolds are so inferior, and not easy to work with. Had a leak today, but I suspect that it was because my husband put the cloth diaper on wrong...I don't think it was snug enough, and it was coming out of the back of the cover. Luckily since he didn't feel like putting on a cloth one the second time, both younger ones did their poop in a disposable, which made my wash easier today! It's still more work than a disposable, but I try to remind myself why we're doing it. If we can get to the point that we have a bunch of Fuzzi Bunz and inserts, I can pre-stuff them and it should streamline the process. Another ten should do it...only another $185! But I can make that back in about two months of cloth diapering. Luckily son number one is doing better on the potty, and often wears underwear when not sleeping. I have a few all in one diapers for him, so if he can stay dry all day, I don't mind if he wets a cloth diaper at night. That will save us some money too.

Cloth Diaper Experiment

Journey to Homemaker

Okay, call me crazy, but inspired by a poster on a webboard, plus all the nesting hormones I've got going, I've decided to try cloth diapers once again. I tried twice before (also urged on by pregnancy hormones, if I remember correctly, lol) but got frustrated and gave up. I think part of my problem, besides my natural laziness, is that I was going about it all wrong. First, I used cheapo Gerber prefolds from Walmart. They are small, thin, and not too absorbent. Second, I only washed them once before using. Third, I was using cheapo vinyl elasticized pants from Walmart and/or yard sales as covers. Fourth, I was using a wet pail method, which I've read on many sites isn't the best way to do cloth diapers. Also, I have no idea what type of detergent I was using, and it might not have been a good one.

Now, with even more research on my part, I hopefully have addressed these issues in the following ways:

I bought good (supposedly) prefolds from a natural food store. They were called Baby Dreams. They were big and seemed to fluff up well after several washings...however, they started to unravel with each washing, more and more. I returned them and plan to buy some Chinese DSQ (diaper service quality) prefolds from a natural baby/toy store. They are $19 a dozen, fairly expensive, but I've heard that Chinese prefolds are the best way to go if you choose prefolds. I have already bought from that store some microfiber inserts that hold an amazing amount of liquid, for my Fuzzi Bunz, which I will describe below. I am loving these microfiber inserts, I'll have to find out what the brand name is.

For covers, I tried a couple of Proraps Classic covers. They have nice leg gussets and Aplix (like Velcro, but better) closures. Haven't used them much yet, but no problems so far. I think they'll fit my kids for a while, so the sizes are a good range. I also FINALLY found a local store that carries Fuzzi Bunz diapers, after hours of online research...the natural toy store I went to happened to have them. From all the reviews I've read online, these are the BEST for overnight leak protection. I've heard they have had quality control issues over the years, and that these have supposedly been addressed. Even those moms who didn't consider FB their favorite diaper still used them at night. These are pocket diapers, in a class of their own. They are not covers, nor AIO's (all in ones). They consist of a waterproof outer layer and a fleece inner layer, with a pocket in between. The opening is along the back edge of the diaper. You put in some kind of insert, like a prefold, a microfiber insert, etc. They need to be washed after each use, unlike a cover, which if not soiled, can be hung to dry between uses, and not washed after each use, but after a few uses. I love the Fuzzi Bunz, they look and feel so comfy, and there has been virtually no leakage problems so far. However, after a couple of washings, one of them has a small bit of stitching coming undone. If this continues to happen, I'll exchange it, and hope it doesn't keep being a problem. FB's are expensive, around fifteen dollars each. They also have fleece and wool covers, but they can be expensive, and will eventually leak if you don't change them often, which I probably wouldn't! There's also Happy Heiny diapers, which are a pocket diaper like FB, but are slightly different and have Aplix closures, which I think might give more flexibility in diaper fit. I'm going to try one. I've heard good reviews of them, but not as good as FB. Same price though.

As for washing the diapers, I've read that you're supposed to wash prefold diapers several times before using. Recommendations vary, but it seems that five times for bleached (white) diapers should do the trick, whereas for natural diapers (unbleached, usually a natural beige or tan in color) must be washed about eight times in order to get all the natural oils out of the diapers, and fluff them up. This is necessary for them to be absorbent enough. They will continue to get more absorbent after the next few washes. You must dry the diapers in between each of these washes. A pain, yes, but better than having leaky diapers and giving up!

For people who hate diaper pins, there's an invention called a Snappi. It's a stretchy plastic thing that grips the corners of the prefolds. Hard to explain, but you'll see if you google it. I've used it once, but it seems to work great. They also nowadays make fitted or contour diapers for those who don't like prefolds. The fitted diapers tend to come with Aplix closures, or sometimes snaps. The contour diapers don't, but you can use pins or a Snappi to hold them closed, then use a cover. In my non-expert opinon, if money was no object, I think I might like to use Fuzzi Bunz with the microfiber inserts, and/or a fitted diaper with a Prorap cover.

As for what pail method to use, I think the wet pail was a mistake for me. Especially when you're just getting started, and mixing cloth with disposables. The diapers can sit in the pail a long time, and folks, they get NASTY. I'm not going to admit how long they got left there the last time, but let's just say after that I gave up on cloth! I've heard adding a little detergent or a few drops of Tea Tree oil helps. But you have to keep the pail locked if you have a mobile baby or other kids, and most pails are not sealed, so even locked a toddler could tip it over and....eewww! Plus you're supposed to change the water every day or two if you're not washing every day. Plus you have to figure out how to dump out the water in the toilet, but not the diapers, and not make a mess. Some people dump it all in the washer and run a spin cycle to get rid of the water. I'm not big on that idea. Many people now advocate the dry pail method. They say the poop won't get dried on. But I tried it. My daughter often passes vegetables or beans not completely broken down...so guess what I had to clean out of my washer? 'nough said!

Now, I could dunk and swish them in the toilet, and they have a plastic invention called the diaper duck for that, but then you have to ring it out, or figure a way to get it to the pail or washer without a mess. And I don't like the idea of rinsing it in the sink. If we had a laundry sink, okay, but not the bathroom sink. Yuck. There is a cool thing called the Mini Shower, a sprayer that attaches to the toilet water supply line and hooks to your toilet tank. It's meant for personal care, but has variable pressure and I've heard rave reviews about it easily rinsing off sticky poop. I've heard it's easy to use this to rinse off FB diapers, because it's easier to rinse poop off of fleece. Then at least the diaper won't be completely dripping. This sounds like the easiest method to me, and I've already ordered one of these babies.

They also have diaper liners. Some stores sell them. They're flushable. You put them inside the diaper, and hopefully it keeps most of the poop off the diaper itself, then you just pull it (and the poop with it) off the diaper and flush it all away. Unless you have a very active wiggly two year old, in which case it will get twisted and most of the poop will end up on the diaper anyway! :-)

So right now I'm just experimenting. I just ran out of disposables for my two youngest, so I have a feeling I'll be getting some good cloth diaper experience in the next few days, and I'll report the results of my "study"!

By the way, I just set up a new diapering "station", maybe I'll post some pics soon. I'm so proud of it! Hey, you gotta do something when you're going to have four in diapers!

Anyone with recent cloth diapering experience is welcome to post a comment with any advice, comments or suggestions...I could use them!

Housework and Homebirth

Journey to Homemaker

Okay, I have to admit it. I'm slacking off again. Not keeping up with the house, etc. I spent several days doing massive amounts of laundry, and even getting it folded...but then it sat stacked in the living room for a week. I have almost all of it put away now, and have done a couple more loads, which need to be folded.

Our computer room, which is right off the garage, has been piled with boxes. I put most of those away, but then we brought more from our storage unit, and the room's a disaster. *sigh* And the floor in the dining area off the kitchen...well, we just won't talk about that!

I'm trying to unpack all the baby stuff and wash it before the baby is born. I have nine weeks left, but it might take me that long, lol. I think I need to re-read Fascinating Womanhood for more motivation. I've started making a study guide based on her end-of-chapter summaries and assignments, to keep in my household management binder. That way it will be easy to review the FW principles on a daily basis, without investing the time each day to read.

Recently, I have decided to try again for a homebirth. My first birth I planned on a homebirth, but couldn't afford a midwife so I decided to do it myself. But I had horrendous back labor, got scared, and went to the hospital. It was all downhill from there. I ended up with a completely unnecessary c-section, then another one 13 months later, and another 13 months after that. I had looked into a midwife with my last child, but couldn't find one who would do a VBAC at home for me because my births were so close.

I'd pretty much given up hope of a "normal" birth. But I decided to try one more time. I've found three midwives willing to take me in this area. I am really praying it works out, because I feel really "messed up" after all my cesareans. It was so draining emotionally and mentally. I feel that it contributed to my low milk supply, depression, and lack of bonding feeling with my children. I have a lot of anxiety abou the pain, and a lack of confidence in my ability to give birth. I feel "broken".

I think that having a VBAC will really help a lot. Then I finally won't feel like I missed the experience of giving birth. I've done a lot of research, and having a home VBAC is a lot safer than continuing to have even more c-sections. For previous c-section mothers who are NOT given induction/augmentation drugs to induce or speed up labor, the risk of uterine rupture is only .8-.9%, less than the risk of many other birth complications that any mother could have, such as a cord prolapse. THowever, the risk of developing other dangerous complications like placenta accreta or placenta previa (or much worse, both conditions together) increases astronomically with each new cesarean a mother has.

I could really use some prayers that I am able to have a wonderful, safe homebirth experience, and a healthy and content baby. I hope to have a waterbirth, which I think will contribute to a less painful, more relaxed delivery for both me and my baby girl.

Cool baby "bed"

Journey to Homemaker

I found the coolest baby bed. It's a hammock style bed, called the Amby Baby Hammock. I questioned at first the design, but upon researching it, I decided it's a great idea. I like to co-sleep, but sometimes my back hurts because I can't roll over. If I can scrape together the money, I plan to use it next to the bed for baby's naps and for when mommy needs to sleep alone. It's a really great looking product!

Breastfeeding tips

Journey to Homemaker

I am very supportive of breastfeeding. It's really important to me. I have come to realize that I am not a good milk producer, however. This is probably why my children are spaced so closely. With my last baby, I found out about Fenugreek, a supplement you can take to improve milk supply. This helped me so much, I wanted to shout the news from the rooftops!

Fenugreek can't be taken if you are pregnant, and you should be careful if you have blood sugar problems...it can lower your blood sugar. Also, some women experience a "maple syrup" smell to their urine or sweat. I think that's probably if you take a higher dose. I never had this problem.

You can find Fenugreek capsules in natural food stores, vitamin shops, and some grocery stores with natural food sections. It's around $8 a bottle, depending on the quality. It is sooooooo worth it. I can't remember how long the bottle lasted. They say that it can take a week to notice a boost in your milk supply. It only took me a day.

Don't forget to drink as much water as you can, and take vitamins. I also highly recommend buying a baby scale for home use. If your baby starts to lose weight, you may not notice it right away, because you see the baby every day. Weighing the baby at least once a week in a dry diaper, preferably more often, will help you keep an eye on the baby's weight. If it goes down, you can monitor it closely, and know there is a problem. The scale is a great investment if you're having more than one child. If you're not, buy it on ebay, and resell it when you're done!

Comment on Fascinating Womanhood and Marital Intimacy

Journey to Homemaker

A reader asked me in a comment if I knew the writer of Fascinating Womanhood was a Mormon. I'm glad she asked. I do know the writer is a Mormon. I am not. But I personally didn't notice much in the book that I considered to be religion-specific. (Unless I missed something!)

However there was one chapter in the book that I personally didn't agree with. That was the chapter on sex. She said that our bodies are our own, not our husbands. I disagree, based on my religious beliefs. I thought I would let my readers know this, although they may not agree with my beliefs, so they can be aware in case they read it.

My opinion on marital intimacy is that my body DOES belong to my husband as well as me, just as his body belongs both to him and me. We are united in Christ, and the two have become one. I believe that I do not have the right to deny my husband marital intimacy (Wait, read the whole thing before you freak out!) unless I have a serious reason, which I will address further below.

Marital intimacy is also referred to as "the marital debt", because it is a right of marriage and not a priviledge. It is a beautiful and sacred thing, not simply a reward to be trivialized and used for manipulation or withheld as punishment. This applies to both spouses, although I think it is especially important for wives to keep this in mind, because the husband's drive is naturally stronger than hers is. A woman finds happiness primarily through affection, whereas men find it primarily through intimacy. And when a woman feels love and affection from her husband, she is more likely to show her love through intimacy...and vice-versa, a man who is feeling loved through intimacy will be more likely to show his wife more love and affection. So if one spouse denies the other spouses needs, it starts a terrible cycle of witholding what the other spouse needs most, and can be very destructive.

As I said, there are times where I believe a spouse does have the right of refusal. For example, if feeling very ill, if it will adversely affect their health (such as in a particularly fragile pregnancy), if the spouse is being mistreated (truly mistreated, not just being made mad), etc. I'm sure there are many other examples, but those are what comes to mind. Being upset, being just tired (not completely physically exhausted), and wanting to manipulate your spouse are not serious reasons. Let's face it, as parents, aren't we ALWAYS tired?!

Now, if you aren't in the mood, you certainly have a right to let your husband know how you feel. There's nothing wrong with saying "honey, I'm really tired tonight, do you mind taking a raincheck?" If your husband is feeling "frustrated" and feels a strong need, he can always let you know. My husband knows I will always be there if he needs me...although he knows on those occassions that he won't be getting any "frills". Sometimes he feels bad asking again if he knows I'm not in the mood, but I'd rather he let me know than to get cranky. I don't know about you, but after a certain amount of days, my husband gets really cranky. He's not even aware of it, but I can count on my fingers how many days it's been and think "yep, I was right, it's been too long." I'm sure every man is different, but I try to make sure that he doesn't have to go that long. It makes us both happier in the long run.

These rules go both ways. There are times he lets me know he's too tired or not in the mood. I've found that as a woman, I often don't realize my own "needs" until after they've been met, and I chastise myself when I've allowed too much time to pass without intimacy with my husband, because it takes its toll on me too, I just don't realize it as easily as he does.

It surprises me to hear on Dr. Phil how many women there are out there witholding from their husbands...then they're mystified as to what's wrong with their marriage! Often it's because they had a baby and got so tired that they just stopped thinking about their husbands' needs. Sometimes it's because of stress in the marriage, and they are stubbornly holding out until the husband "shapes up". I'm sure the husbands are often in the dark about the whole thing! I mean, do these women want to be right, or do they want to be happy? Some of these poor men have gone a year, even multiple years, and the wives admit that they're "just not interested". Well heck, how about making a sacrifice once a week to show their husbands that they love them?

I thank God for my faith. Because of my beliefs, I think we have a much stronger marriage than most people. We've had some major struggles with things like money, etc. and a lot of couples break up over these things, or at least damage their marriage.

Anyway, this is just what I believe. I just wanted to post about it because I recommended the book, but that one particular section is not something that I personally believe will help a marriage. The rest of the book is great though, and has really helped motivate me as a wife and mother, and is improving our marriage. My husband is a fabulous husband and father, but even he is making improvements in himself because he is so appreciative of my own efforts to improve.

Organizing the Laundry room

Fascinating Womanhood is really paying off. I'm taking babysteps, but definitely making improvements. I'm keeping the house neater, making a big dent on the laundry, and getting things organized. I'm making a concerted effort to be dressed nice and have my makeup and hair done--even if it's just hair brushed and eyeliner and lipstick. My husband has really appreciated the difference. Amazingly, he said I even sound softer, that my voice is softer and more feminine. The strange thing is that I've been meaning to work on that, but hadn't gotten around to it yet. I guess it's just starting to come naturally.

The other night I went to bed early because I'd had a really hard day, and when my husband got home from work at midnight, he stayed up two hours cleaning the kitchen and living room and doing the dishes, and left a lovely note for me for when I got up. He helps out like this a lot, but this time he was doing it to show me his appreciation, and not just making a sacrifice for me, or doing it because he knew it wouldn't get done otherwise.

Tonight, I got the laundry pile done to the point I could organize the laundry room. It's not that big, but it will do. I took an idea from Michelle Duggar, who was featured on "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" on the Discovery Health Network. She has a big dressing room, apparently where the laundry room is. They have two washers and two dryers, and on top of them are plastic bins for each family member's socks and undergarments, and the rest of their clothing is all hung in that room. They dress in there, and deposit dirty clothes right into the hampers. Then the washing, folding, sorting and putting away is all done in one room. Pretty brilliant!

Since my laundry room is small and my husband and I have a walk in closet upstairs, I put just the children's clothes in the laundry room. That way I don't have to run up and down to three separate bedrooms on two other levels for the children's clothing...I usually change them all together in the living room, since their so young.

On one sideof the laundry room, behind the door, is the washer and dryer, and alongside that is a rolling laundry cart with three bags in it for sorting. Then next to that is a small shelf unit with the iron, detergent, and other laundry necessities.

On the other side I put my daughter's tall, narrow dresser and my two sons' plastic rolling chests of drawers, stacked one on top of the other (wheels off of the top one, of course). Next to that is a large hanging rack for laundry. It's pretty nice and sturdy, chrome and black, with a wire shelf above, and a rack on the bottom for shoes, etc. Hanging from the pole is one of those canvas hanging organizers with canvas shelves in it for sweaters, etc. This one is made for children and has a flap on each shelf with the day of the week embroidered on it. I plan each week to put a set of clothing for each child in each cubby for that day. That way, if my husband gets up with the kids, the clothing will be all ready for him to dress the kids in, and it will all match. ;-) I plan to hang my daughters nicer dresses and the boys' church clothing from the rack also, leaving as much room as possible for me to hang my drip-dry dresses. I bought both the laundry rack and the hanging organizer from Target.

Eventually I'd like to install wire shelving above and alongside the washer and dryer. But until then, this layout will work really well, I think. I can't wait to get all the laundry done and folded. Since we just moved, and had had many boxes of clothing in storage, much of it had to be re-washed. Plus I have to hunt through the too-small-clothing boxes for the baby stuff and wash it, as my next baby is due in ten weeks. Plus we started with a ton of laundry that was dirty before we even moved from the last house. PLUS, I've let myself get behind on the laundry here since we moved! *sigh* But at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have about eight or so loads of laundry to do, then I'll be done...until I find the rest of the baby stuff...and we get the rest of our stuff out of storage! I seriously need to pare back on the clothing! That's what yard sales will do to you, lol.

Well, back to the laundry!

Making Progress

I am pretty proud of myself today. So far, I've exercised, taken my vitamins, done two loads of laundry, folded one load AND put it away (seriously, that's a major feat for me), and made my husband's lunch. I also prompted my 3 year old son to tell his Daddy "thank you for working so hard for our family." I am trying to make sure my husband feels appreciated, and teach my children to show him the same appreciation.

Now, I admit to feeding my kids PB&J sandwiches for lunch...again...but I'll follow up with fruit, and make sure their dinner is more diverse and balanced.

I am hoping to clean the toilets today, they're getting bad. If I can find the toilet scrubber! We just moved (again) so everything is still in boxes in one room. I am planning today to move the boxes into some of the empty closets so the house looks more presentable. That way, I can work on it one box at a time and not feel overwhelmed by a huge messy room. I also want to catch up on the laundry today. At the very least, I'd like to do one more load, and fold everything that's been washed so far (two other loads from last night, one that was already waiting on the dryer, and two more from today). That's a pretty ambitious day for me, if I complete it, I will be REALLY proud of myself!

Part of why I've been so depressed lately is because I have come to hate who I am. I know I'm slacking off, and can be doing a lot better. But when you get in a rut and get depressed, it's hard to find the motivation to change that. But I'm doing it in baby steps, and finding that the more I do, the easier it is to do it. Yay, me!

My Journey from Housewife to Homemaker

I have been a wife and stay at home mother for four years now. So far it has been a struggle for me. I am not naturally organized, and I am admittedly lazy, so running a household without children was an effort for me. Once I had my first child ten months after marraige, then a second thirteen months later, than a third thirteen months after that...well, let's just say things started really falling apart. You can let a lot slide with just one child, but with three...no can do!

So now, expecting my fourth child (this time I had a "break", there will be 21 months between this one and the last, lol) I have realized it's time to get serious. My children need a "together" mom, my husband deserves a fabulous wife, and I can honestly say I'm nowhere close to being either. So this blog will document my journey and struggles to stop being a housewife (to me, a wife stuck in a house) and become a homemaker (a woman joyfully dedicated to the care of her family and the making of a true home).

This is mostly for my own sanity--the ability to vent, to get it out, to think out loud (sort of). But perhaps there are others out there who can learn from my mistakes, or who have a large family of their own and can offer advice. It really helps to know there are others out there like yourself when you feel alone with your problems.

So, welcome!