Disappointing news

Journey to Homemaker

It looks like there will be no VBAC for me. I've exhausted nearly all my sources. It's been such an emotional roller coaster for me, getting my hopes up, then losing hope, that I just can't take the stress anymore. So I am scheduling a c-section for the first week in March. I did find a holistically-inclined hospital in the area, and luckily my insurance covers it. It's small and almost brand new. They have a waterbirthing room, doula services, and use alternative labor methods like aroma therapy, lavender bath salts, etc. There's even a masseuse on staff! I won't be using the other stuff since I'll be having a c-section, but maybe I'll take advantage of the masseuse. :-)

The best thing is that they don't take the baby away from you. If the baby is healthy, she and the dad stay with you for the rest of surgery, then they wheel you out with the baby in your arms, and you recover in your postpartum room with your family at your side. Soooo different from most hospitals. They allow you to put off the bathing, weighing, etc. to establish a bond and start breastfeeding. It sounds so great, I'm almost looking forward to it, even though it is a hospital birth, and a surgery.

I usually have such easy pregnancies, but it seems like the more kids I have, the harder the last month is. I'm not feeling too great. If I have a very stressful day, I start feeling sick and have a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions. I'm looking forward to the baby coming, especially to the two weeks of rest I will get afterwards! I always sleep so well when I'm breastfeeding a newborn (gotta love those breastfeeding hormones) and my husband will be home to take care of me for a while.

Unfortunately my doula seems to be backing out on me. I can't even get ahold of her on the phone. Since we have no family or friends in the area, we have no one we can trust to watch our children. So I may have to go through the surgery alone. Since the hospital has volunteer doulas, I'm going to try to get one of those. It will be disappointing to not have anyone who cares about me with me. But as long as I can keep the baby with me, I'll be happy enough.

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