New Blog!

I know I haven't posted in a while. I'll try to soon. In the meanwhile, I have been posting about my new raw food way of eating. If you're curious, most raw food posts will be made there. I'm doing great, come on, check it out!

The Raw Revealing of the New Me

Raw Revelations

If any of you knew me personally, you'd be shocked at this: I've gone raw.

"What the heck is raw?" some of you may be asking. Others, who "kind of" know what raw is, are thinking "Are you some kind of hippie tree hugger now?" No my friends, I'm just as ultra-conservative as ever. But I've made a wonderful discovery: raw food can change your life.

Let's back up a step, to how I made this discovery. I rented the movie "Supersize Me", a documentary film where the filmmaker goes on a 30 day, McDonald's-only diet. He gained 30 pounds (and looked it), and felt terrible. He also became addicted to the stuff. During the film, his girlfriend, a vegan chef, was appalled at his experiment, and planned a detox diet for him of vegan food after his McDonald's debacle. However, the end of the film made mention that he decided not to be vegan afterwards. It wasn't clear if he was vegan, or semi-vegan, before.

His experience got me thinking, and I searched online for a "natural diet" and weightloss. One site I came upon was I Beat Obesity , where a woman says she lost weight as fast as with weight loss surgery, but without the surgery. She did it on raw foods. Now the only diet that has claimed that, as far as I've seen, is Kimkins. I did Kimkins for a while, but it's not a diet you can do while pregnant or nursing...which I always am, one or the other! Seeing her amazing results really intrigued me, enough to get past the words "raw" and "vegan", at least momentarily.

After a lot of research, I realized two things:

1) There are a LOT of people who have had great success beating their food addictions and losing a lot of weight on raw food.

2) There are even MORE people who have eliminated all kinds of diseases and ailments, including diabetes and cancer (without chemo or radiation), just by eating 100% raw foods.

That got my attention. I've read and researched online and in books, and I'm pretty convinced by the arguments that raw food is the natural food for your body. I don't think it's necessary to go 100% raw to get the benefits (though you'll get MUCH more if you do), but I think anyone who doesn't eat at LEAST 50-60% raw after reading about it must be crazy, or determined to stay fat and/or sick the rest of their lives. 50% raw isn't hard at all.

I'm not good at explaining the science, but the biggest factor is enzymes. Cooking over 118 degrees (or 105, opinions vary) kills most of the enzymes in food. Therefore your body must use its enzymes (taking them away from their job of healing the body and eliminating toxins) to digest the food. It is believed that these enzymes leave the body with the digested food, depleting your body of enzymes, which do not replace themselves. Raw food is live food, full of living enzymes. But for me, I don't need a panel of arguing scientists or nutritionists to convince me...I've seen the evidence in myself. If you check out my weight loss blog, Weigh Out of Control, I'll post more there about my experiences. In the meantime, do some research for yourself, starting with Raw Food Talk , and the other related websites by Alissa Cohen mentioned on the site.

I've done other diets before (and failed) but this is truly a way of life. I'm not 100% raw yet, but I'm working on it. I may not go 100% til after I have the baby, for various reasons. But my whole life has changed. I feel awesome! So check out my other site if you're curious. I'll post most of my raw stuff over there.

Smart Habit Saturday-hosted by Lara the Lazy Organizer

Okay, I'm posting this today, Friday, because I know I'll forget tomorrow. ;-) My new habit for this week is planning a menu AND actually USING it! I tend to plan one (once in a while), and maybe even buy what I need, but then forget all about it and freak out trying to figure out what to make that will only take ten minutes.

Yes, I truly am that bad! LOL I'm hoping to get my butt in gear and use the crock pot and bread machine this week, but just sticking to a menu is the main goal. The kids meals haven't been unhealthy, but they have been very, very repetitive.

Go over to Lara's blog and check out her SMART Habit Saturday posts, as well as her tips.

The First Step: The Pantry

Once I decided I needed to prepare my family for potential emergencies, I knew what my first step would be. The pantry. We needed a lot more food. I have been going to the store every few days lately, which is not only poor planning, but a recipe for financial disaster. The more often you go, the more likely you are to spend extra money on unnecessary items. Not to mention the waste of gas and time.

I knew we had a good amount of meat in the freezer from recent sales I've seen. But canned food was scarce. My first goal is to amass a month's worth of food. So I sat down and made a one-week menu, a list of needed ingredients, and doubled it. That gave me two weeks worth of food. My plan was to go to the store, and attempt to double it again, if we had the money, or just get the amount on the list. Now, you wouldn't want to buy a huge amount of food based on a one-week menu plan...boredom would set in very quickly. But this is my plan for the short term. I was able to get almost a whole month's worth of the basics. I still need more sucanat and whole wheat from the health food store, but we're short on money this week, so I'll wait til next time.

When our next paycheck comes, I'll make a new one-week menu, and repeat the process. We get paid every two weeks. So every two weeks, I'll buy one month worth of food. Within three months, I should have an extra three months worth of food on hand at all times.

You may wonder how I can afford this. We're not rich, or well-off, or even "comfortable", although our financial situation is improving. Once all our debts are current, I would consider us doing "okay". Right now, we are "struggling less". LOL.

Basically, we spent about the same as we normally would on food for two weeks, including fast food. So we've given up fast food, and have made a commitment to eat at home from now on, unless it is necessary because one of us is on the road. (The day I shopped, I was gone for over seven hours, which I didn't expect to be, so I ate out.) Although I'm trying to get healthier food for my family, and try to buy some organic food when I can, I decided this week would be almost all regular food, because having SOME food in the pantry was more important. After the pantry is a little fuller, I will try to incorporate more organic food. All food bought in bulk, like flour, etc. will still be organic, as it is reasonably cheap to buy it that way. Whole wheat organic flour is usually .69 a pound.

I shopped at Aldi's, because some of their food is very inexpensive. You have to know your prices, though. Some foods I can get cheaper at Sam's Club or Walmart. I bought a case each of corn, green beans, diced tomatoes with chiles, large cans of pears. I bought ten pounds of boneless chicken tenderloins. Chicken breasts are usually cheaper, but I found tenderloins much more tender, quicker and easier to cook without overcooking the edges, and easier to calculate portions, especially when you have a lot of little ones. I also bought enough soap, and shampoo to last a month. It will be nice to have that stuff on hand, as it never fails that once the shampoo runs out, so does our soap, dish liquid, razor blades, toothpaste, etc. , and usually all during a week when we're broke, lol.

At Sam's Club I bought a gallon jug of salad dressing, some produce, and eight small jugs of organic juice (probably should have gone with regular, but it was a good price). I bought three cases of bottled water (soon I want my own high-end water filter to save money), a large container of deli meat (the only inexpensive way to buy it), and a ton of toilet paper and paper towels. (My husband still likes using them, and my mini hand towels are still packed up somewhere.)

At Walmart we bought a gallon of mayo (cheaper than Sam's club, surprisingly), razor blades, some canned soups, and some miscellaneous things, including Easter candy. I haven't added it up yet, but I think I spent around $300 not including the Easter candy. I did spend some extra money on a few unnecessary items such as new Easter baskets, etc. that isn't included in that amount.

As an aside, the "Easter bunny" does NOT visit our house. Easter here is about the Glorious Resurrection of Our Lord, not a fictitious bunny who gives them candy. We do have baskets and an Easter egg hunt, but our children know that these are given by us, as a celebration of a religious occasion.

Back to the pantry issue...I couldn't believe it, but I actually fit almost all this food into our little pantry cabinet. It's not quite full. I'm glad it all fit, because cabinet space is at a premium in this newer house. The amount we spent would have been more if we hadn't already had some items, especially meat. But most of the menu calls for chicken breasts for dinner, which will come out of the ten pounds I bought. I know that once my pantry is stocked well, my costs will be even lower, because I can shop by what's on sale, and buy in bulk. I know I probably didn't get every thing I needed for this month, and of course things like milk will need to be bought again before my next shopping trip, but it's a start.

Preparedness

When I was single, I did tons of research and reading about preparedness. This was over a decade ago, when Y2K was barely a blip on most people's radars. It started with reading Countryside magazine, which is a wonderful magazine about homesteading and country living, with articles written by people who are actually doing it. I also started reading Back Home Magazine, Backwoods Home Magazine, and American Survival Guide a (now defunct) magazine that focused more on preparation and survival of many types of situations.

Many people laugh at the idea of "preparing" the equate it with Y2K "survivalist nuts" who spent thousands of dollars on giant cans of "survival food", only to find that the year 2000 brought no catastrophe, and gave away their stash of goods. What has happened to our country? Only a few generations ago, preparing for bad times was the norm! Only a fool would keep enough food on hand for just a few days or a week, in those days. Even city dwellers kept pantries, though probably not as big as the ones country folks had.

If your family's breadwinner lost his or her job and had an extremely difficult time finding another, how would your family do? How long could you pay your mortgage, all your insurance, the utility bills, the vehicle payments, not to mention put food on the table? What if you had to fight in court for unemployment benefits, and you still didn't have another job after six months? What if the breadwinner had a major injury that took place outside the workplace, and was still an invalid six or even twelve months later?

What would happen if a disaster hit your area? Can't happen? Ask the Katrina victims what they think of that foolish notion. You could very easily become the victim of a record-breaking blizzard, tornado, earthquake, flood, hurricane, or other major disaster that knocks out power, destroys homes, disrupts the transportation of food, gas and other necessities, and traps you in your home. Could your family survive two weeks without electricity, plumbing, or a way to buy food or other necessities?

Do you live near a nuclear facility? A plant that produces chemicals? A military installation? Anywhere near a major highway or train line where loads of chemicals or nuclear waste could be transported? If so, you could be vulnerable to a disaster, and may have to evacuate your home.

What about terrorism? After 9-11, and several plots since then that have been foiled by homeland security, can we ever be sure of our safety here at home? We have had the luxury, as a country, of having no wars fought on this land since the civil war. Because of this we have become complacent, assuming this will always be the case. It will not. Human nature unfortunately dictates that sooner or later, we will endure war on American soil.

This may sound like gloom and doom to you, but it is not. It is a fact of life that bad things happen. You don't need to dwell on it all the time, but you should make yourself aware of it, and prepare for the worst. Even on a small income, you can make some preparations. If you even had supplies to keep your family safe, clean, fed, warm, and healthy for two weeks, you would be ahead of most Americans. Personally, I think a month should be the absolute minimum, and three months would be a smarter choice. There are some Americans who actually keep a year or more in supplies. Believe it or not, it can be done. It may take time to figure out how to do it and amass your supplies if you are short on space or money, but it can be done.

This came to my mind recently, after seeing the show "Jericho" on CBS (go to their website to view the show online) and reading "Lights Out", a free book online, which I found to be very realistic and had helpful ideas for those who want to be prepared. I realized that my day to day duties as a wife and mother have drawn me further into worldly desires and concerns. I find myself wanting to have everything fast and easy. Convenient, pre-packaged and unhealthy foods, the best of everything, it is very seductive. We had no more than a week's worth of food on hand, and many needed items not on hand at all. We have no water stored.

Ironically, before I met my husband, he, like I, was living off-grid. He didn't have a pantry, but he had non-electric alternatives. We both know what it is like to heat a home with wood or a kerosene heater, and to cook with it. We have hauled water in large containers, by hand. When Y2K happened, I didn't have a whole lot stored, but I had enough to survive about a month. We still have some of these supplies...kerosene lamps, water containers, etc. But no fuel, water, or food stored. I have become, like most Americans, complacent. Sure that tomorrow will never bring sickness, tragedy, or disaster.

Many Americans think "oh, the goverment will take care of us." How foolish...anyone remember how long it was before Katrina victims got any decent amount of food or water from FEMA? And that was one small area of the country! As for shelter, would you want to live in the Superdome with all the crime, assault, rape, etc. that was going on there? Not to mention the unsanitary living conditions that quickly arose.

If you want to live like an ostrich with your head in the sand, that's fine, as long as you don't go crawling to your prepared neighbors in an emergency, demanding that they help you and accusing them of "hoarding" and "stealing" from everyone else, simply because they were smart enough to prepare. Even animals in nature are intelligent enough to prepare for hard times. But if you have helpless dependents...children, babies, the sick, the elderly, and even animals to care for, you don't have the right to leave them unprotected and vulnerable to the slightest emergency. It is your responsibility, not the government's, to care for and prepare for the needs of your dependents.

I'm ashamed to say I'm no better than anyone else. I've been lulled into the false sense of security that relatively easy times can bring. But life has its ups and downs. Don't be caught unawares during a "down" time. Your well-being and that of your loved ones may depend on you.

I plan to keep reading and researching, and sharing my finds with you. I will post links to sites and list any good books or other helpful resources. I highly suggest reading "Lights Out". It is free to read online or download. It is long, but an easy read. After a few days, I did have some nightmares about it (but then I'm pregnant and highly prone to nightmares lately, lol). I just stopped reading for a few days, then picked it up again. Even if you just read the first half, it will give you some idea of what to really expect in a major nationwide disaster, and what you might need to survive something like it. If you even just stored a few weeks of food, water, and necessities, you would be helping your family a lot. I did it when I was single and poor, and working only part time earning a little over minimum wage. If you do it the smart way, it's not as hard as you might think.

Upcoming Ultrasound

I know my posts are few and far between. It is nearly impossible to sign into Blogger now that Google took it over. Ever since then, when I try to sign into Blogger, it shuts down my browser almost every time. I just haven't found any other free blogging sites I like to switch over to, so until then, I'll do the best I can to post (when Google Blogger lets me).

I have a level II ultrasound this week. This is to check on the baby's development and make sure all is normal. Since I have gestational diabetes, E antibodies, and I'm sooooo old (lol), they want to check. I told the doc that's fine, as long as he knows that I'm not aborting my baby if there's anything wrong. Quite frankly, I don't really want to know if anything is wrong, unless there's something that can be done about it (intra-uterine surgery, etc.). The last thing I need is to spend the next five months worrying about something I can't change!

I'm sure it will be normal. My anti E titers were low, and I haven't heard differently about the titer I took last week, so I assume that was low also. I REALLY need to change my eating. It's been pretty terrible the last few months. My husband is not being nearly as supportive as he normally is. I tried to go cold turkey on any refined carbs last week, and the very day I start that, he decided to "help" me by making a cake with chocolate frosting, just to "get rid of it." Yeah, smelling cake baking and seeing the chocolate frosting was a big help. I held out all day, and then got so frustrated I decided to have some. But he and the kids had eaten it all, and that just made me mad, so I went to the store and bought a bunch of junk. I know, it's my own fault. But you don't help an alcoholic by drinking a bottle of vodka in front of them...so it follows that you don't help a fat person by eating cake in front of them. Grrr!

Normally he's been great in the past, taking up any diet I wanted to try. But I've noticed the last few times he's been less and less supportive. I wish I knew why. I'm very weak-willed, and the only times I've been successful at weight-loss was when he supported me. I guess we just need to sit down and talk about it. If I don't get my blood sugar under control, I'm going to have to take insulin. And I DON'T want to do that, if I don't have to.

The Big "E"

When my doctor told me I had developed E antibodies, he gave me VERY little information. The more questions I asked, the more he repeated the same answers, in the same vague, difficult to understand way. When I left, I wasn't sure if what I had was a disease, or what, so I was a little panicked. All he told me was that I'd probably have to go to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist, and the baby would probably have to be delivered premature.

Naturally, I went home and did my own research. There wasn't much out there. I'll give you a synopsis of what I learned, but I'm not a doctor, so cut me some slack. ;-) If you know of anything I got wrong and have a reputable website online to refer me to, please let me know, and I'll be happy to make needed corrections. Here is what I found out:

Our blood type (A, B, AB, and O) are based on the antigens in our blood. Type A has A antigens in it, type B has B antigens in it, etc. If someone who has A blood is given a transfusion containing type B blood, that person's type A blood will see the B antigens in the new blood as foreign, and therefore will probably rally to fight off these new antigens by producing antibodies to attack them. This is why you need to have a matching blood type given to you in a transfusion.

There are other antigens out there. Basically, these antigens are proteins that are attached to your blood cells. As far as E antigens go (and there are big E and little e antigens, each are different), 98 % of the population have ee, while the rest have either EE or Ee. If a mother is ee, and her husband is ee, there is no problem. But if the father is Ee, there is a 50% chance he will pass on the E antigen to his children. If he is EE, there is a 100% chance he will pass it on to his children.

If an ee mother is pregnant with a baby who has E antigens, and their blood somehow mixes during pregnancy or birth, the mother's blood will detect the E antigens, and create E antibodies to fight off the foreign antigens. This isn't a problem when it happens during a first pregnancy. The problem occurs to subsequent pregnancies. If the mother has another baby with E antigens, the mother's blood will recognize the E antigens, and will make even more antibodies to fight off the antigens. Basically, the mother's blood will try to attack and "kill" the baby's blood. If the level of antibodies gets too high, it can be very dangerous to the baby. The baby could die.

There are two ways to be exposed to these antigens. One, as just described, is to be exposed to it by the father, via the baby. The other is if you get a blood transfusion. They're supposed to check blood for antigens, and the blood can be "cleaned" of the antigens before it is given. But I guess mistakes happen, and you can still be exposed to these antigens through transfused blood. The good thing is, if you get it from a transfusion, you can have your husband's blood tested for a simple antibody screening. If your husband is ee, you are in the clear. Your child will not have the E antigen, and therefore your blood will not fight your baby's. As I mentioned before, if your husband is EE, your child will definitely have the E antigen, and if he is Ee, your child might have the E antigen.

If your baby is suspected to have the E antigen, your blood will be tested at least once a month in the beginning of your pregnancy, and more often if the titer levels go up or as the pregnancy gets further along. If the levels rise past a certain point, they might have to do things such as a cordocentesis or amniocentesis. I believe I also read that a intrauterine blood transfusion for the baby may be necessary. If the situation worsens, the baby will need to be delivered early. My doctor told me that they usually like to deliver the babies at 32-36 weeks. 36 weeks isn't too bad, but 32 weeks is pretty early. He can't give me statistics on how often premature deliveries are done, because usually patients with this condition go to a perinatologist, and he doesn't always get feedback on the outcome.

There are other antigens out there that will cause similar problems. The most common one is antigen D. This is the one that is a problem for moms who are Rh-. It is much more dangerous and can cause more problems. However, there is a solution that usually works for D antibodies. Doctors inject the mother with RhoGam, which are D antibodies but they are too big to cross the placental barrier. It fools the mother's blood into thinking that there is no reason to produce more antibodies, because there are already plenty of antibodies to "do the job". Since the injected antibodies are too big to cross the placental barrier, they don't harm the baby. This usually takes care of the problem. There is no injection for mothers with E antibodies, and I don't think there are for the other problematic antibodies out there, like C, etc. Probably because the others are much more rare, and therefore are not profitable enough to bother researching or manufacturing a treatment.

I will be having my husband's blood tested, although it is likely I got exposed to the antigens from him, via my last baby. The antibodies have never been detected in my blood during previous pregnancies, so either I got them from the last baby, or I got a blood transfusion during the last c-section or my hernia operation. I don't remember getting blood, and my doctor says usually they have you sign something informing you of the risks of transfusion and giving you things to look out for. I always read EVERYTHING I sign, so it's unlikely I had a transfusion. But I'd like my husband to be tested just the same. Since antibody screening is pretty routine during pregnancy blood workups, it is unlikely that I had E antibodies before now. Which probably means my husband is Ee, and didn't pass the antigens on to the first three children.

As annoying and worrisome as this complication is, I know that if my husband has E antigens, then I'm blessed that this hasn't happened sooner. Although you know this is just one more thing that the doctors will try to use against me in the future to coerce me to sterilize myself. Sorry docs, I'm not a cat, and that ain't gonna happen! Of course, the first thing my mother says is "see, I knew something like this would happen...your body just can't take all these pregnancies!" My response was "um, mom, didn't you listen to anything I said? This is something that occurred naturally, and could have happened with the first baby. And it might not even cause any problems. There was no way to prevent it." She acts like I broke myself, lol.

I suppose I could have made my husband submit to several health exams and blood screenings to make sure he was "compatible". I can just see it now... "Sorry dear, I love you and I believe God sent you to me because you are the man that will be a wonderful husband and father and lead me and my future children to Heaven...but God made a mistake and gave you the wrong proteins in your blood, so I'm afraid we'll have to call the whole thing off." ROFL!! I mean, I was picky, but I wasn't THAT picky!

I hope you have enjoyed today's lesson on antigens and antibodies. Hey, you could turn this into a homeschooling lesson! Of course you'll have to come up with your own illustrations. ;-) You could make some E antigen and antibody puppets, and make them have a little puppet fight!

Pregnancy Complications

Well, this pregnancy is turning out to be a lot like Murphy's law!

I found out that I have a condition that is very similar to being Rh-....just a different antibody that's causing the trouble (E instead of D). It's much more rare, but not as serious. However, it doesn't have a simple solution like taking RhoGam. Basically I'm being referred to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist, because I also have other high risk factors: being "old" (35 or older), being overweight, having had 4 previous c-sections, and to top it all off, I have gestational diabetes again. *sigh*

The bad thing is, they usually recommend early delivery of the baby--usually between 32-36 weeks. Now, you all know me, I am NOT big on interventions or other unnatural stuff. Of course, if it's necessary I'll do it. But doctors are so quick to try to force you into doing things that are not actually in the best interests of you or the baby, to minimize the risks of lawsuits and higher malpractice insurance fees....like, oh, say, guilting you into a c-section you don't really need, and telling you "don't worry, you can have a VBAC next time" as he laughs up his sleeve because he darn well knows you're highly unlikely to be "allowed" to have a VBAC in this day and age. Oh, I'd better not get started on that, lol!

Anyway, I'm not really big on delivering a baby early just because I have a condition that MIGHT cause a problem in the future. I've done my research (boy, doctors just hate that) and I know that they usually keep an eye on your titers (tracking the levels of antibodies in your blood to make sure your blood isn't attacking the baby's blood). If the levels go up, you know there is a problem. If they go over a certain level, the baby could be in danger. I won't be letting the doctors deliver the baby early "just in case". There will have to be some evidence that early delivery is truly necessary. I'm not going to risk my baby's life with a premature delivery just so the doctors can later say that they "took every precaution".

I'm also not going to let them bully me into taking insulin unless that is necessary also. I've been doing some research, and I found out that a study has shown that taking as little as 1/2 teaspoon a day of cinnamon can lower your blood sugar, and has helped diabetics keep their blood sugar under control. I plan to try this and diet modifications first (I've been a very bad girl lately, due to stress) before taking more drastic measures. If I need to, I'll take the insulin or Metformin, but not unless it proves necessary.

I'm not really worried too much about the baby. All my babies have been healthy. Granted, this could change at any time, life is like that. And I am a little concerned. But as long as I don't see much rise in the titer levels, I'm not going to freak out. Hopefully, the pregnancy will proceed normally. So please keep me and my baby in your prayers!

I'm Back!

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've turned into one of THOSE bloggers...the kind who rarely every posts, so I get bored checking in with them and take them off my boomarks list. LOL. At least Blogger finally let me sign in. Sheesh!

We've decided to wait until summer to buy a house. In the meantime, we found a five bedroom home to rent. It was really cheap, and now we know why. We knew the original builder had gone bankrupt, and this house and a couple of others were sold to an investor. Now the investor is ready to be foreclosed on, because he can't sell it either. We were told the price was too high. Oh, my friends, that's not the REAL reason. The real reason is that the contractor who built this was either a moron or a crook who used sub-standard crews. The drywall looks like it was done by ten year olds. I am NOT kidding! Places where they messed up are covered over with a splotch of joint compound, not leveled or sanded, then painted over. And they messed up a LOT. Some things, like the appliances, aren't bad. Others, like the doors, look fine, but are actually made very cheaply. The bannister for the stairs shakes. The phone outlets were connected to each other, but not the outgoing phone line (requiring the phone company to spend 6 1/2 hours here to fix it), and the carpet is so cheap that my daughter's hair looks like a dirty lint mop from all the carpet fibers she has picked up! No wonder the house hasn't sold!

The good news is, it isn't likely to sell anytime soon, and we have a six month lease anyway. And we got a good rate on the rent. And there is a SuperWalmart only three minutes away. YAY!

We should be ready to buy this summer (God willing) and finally have a home of our own. I can't wait to paint a wall!!!

There has been a complication in my pregnancy. Everything is okay so far. But that's a whole other post.

My "baby" is now one year old. She's so big! And finally she's at a good weight...for some reason my girls are so petite, it's hard to get them to gain. Which makes it hard when there are so many fat babies out there. Funny how doctors want fat babies, but once they're two or three years old, if they're too big, they want them to be skinny.

I just ordered "Created to be His Helpmeet" last night. Can't wait to get it. I've heard good things, but was never interested, based on exerpts I had read. My husband was definitely not a "Mr. Visionary" as the book describes, and that's what I've heard the most about. But last night I read an exerpt that talked about "Mr. Steady"...wow, that is my husband! Not 100%...I would never call him wishy-washy or too slow to make a decision, or one who wouldn't take a stand on a church issue, etc. But he is very stable, and definitely goes above and beyond helping me. Debi Pearl says many wives of a Mr. Steady end up with hormonal imbalances or health problems. There wasn't enough detail to know exactly why, but she seemed to be saying that strong women married to a Mr. Steady had a tendency to lose respect for him and take over as spiritual head of the family, etc. Perhaps she meant that because of this, many women end up stressed out or emotionally wrecked, I don't know....we'll see when I get the book.

I definitely don't lose respect for my husband when he works hard to take over many of my duties and give me time to myself...actually, I lose respect for myself. I feel like a failure, and end up hating myself for it. It's not his fault, it's mine. I've known for a while that I'm letting him help me too much. But I'm so overwhelmed with...life...that I'm afraid to tell him that, for fear he won't help enough, and I'll feel worse. I really hope the book helps me, because I think she's really on to something.

I know I need to let go more, and not try to control so much. After reading "Fascinating Womanhood", I gave up control of the money (well, mostly) which helped a lot. I need to give up more control, and try not to manipulate him so much. He's a good husband, and I worry that he is losing respect for me.

In the meantime, while I wait for the book (I got it on MP3 so I can listen to it, otherwise I'll never finish it) I will be reviewing Fascinating Womanhood and trying again to implement her suggested changes. Last night I fixed myself up for my husband before he got home and I cleaned up the house, even though my day had been awful. He really liked it. And I felt better about myself, too.

Hoping for a New House!

We've been having landlord problems lately. I HATE renting! I've never had a home that was all my own, and I'm really ready for it. I can't stand worrying about every scratch on the wall, what the neighbors think of our "long" grass (barely an inch longer than theirs), or the fact that I can't even paint a wall. Not to mention dealing with landlords who never want to fix anything. This landlord hasn't been too bad in that department, but we're having thermostat problems and it's WINTER, so I'm pretty frustrated with their lackadaisical attitude in finding a repairman for it.

I didn't think our credit was anywhere near where it needed to be to get a house, but as it turns out, the guidelines for lending have loosened quite a bit over the years. I didn't realize it's much easier to get a home loan than a car loan! Unfortunately because of the upswing in foreclosures, the rules are tightening up again, so we want to try now. It's definitely a buyer's market right now, especially at this time of year.

Our credit took a big dip a year ago, which is frustrating. Apparently before that, we had good enough credit to get a pretty good rate. Grrrrr! Why didn't I know about that? Now we're two points below where we need to be to get into a loan. It will be a little iffy even if we raise two points soon. But it's definitely possible. We went up a couple of points in just a few days this week. (I am SO glad we got the new car, it's helping our credit a lot.)

We're looking for 5-10 acres about a half hour from my husband's job. That is our ideal. We could really use some prayers for this. We need to get financed, find a house, and move very quickly. Either that or find a temporary rental and take our time looking to buy a house. So if everyone could remember us in their prayers this week, we would really appreciate it. Also, pray that I can pack up this house full of junk, and keep my patience and sanity!!

Thanks!

No, the Ticker Isn't Going Backwards....

...it just looks that way. If any of you have visited my (non-updated) blog recently, you may have noticed that it had been showing a gestational date of 16 weeks, but is now showing 12 weeks. Why the change? Well, my due date had been a loose estimate, based on my second-to-last period (I forgot to write down the date of the last one.) So I came up with a due date based on that.

However, after an ultrasound two weeks ago to determine if I was carrying twins (why am I always more sure with each pregnancy that I'm having twins when I'm not?!) I found out that based on the ultrasound, I was only nine weeks along. Grrrr!

So not only did I apparently skip a period somewhere along the line BEFORE I got pregnant, but I am also feeling even more farther along than I thought I was. Hence, the twin scare. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for any blessings God gives me. But I might be momentarily chagrined at God's sense of humor if He gave me twins now, when I already have four children under the age of five, rather than giving them to me with the first pregnancy, when I wanted twins. I was relieved it was just one baby, although I admit there was some slight disappointment too. ;-)

It's strange to me that not only is each pregnancy different, but I seem to be experiencing more severe symptoms each time. I can only be thankful that God was so merciful in letting my first pregnancy be so easy. I can't imagine being one of those poor women who have very rough pregnancies, especially if each one was worse than the last. Yikes! I'm pretty wimpy.

With other pregnancies, I've had occasional, very slight nausea a couple of times. This usually was when I hadn't had enough to eat, particularly when I was pregnant and still breastfeeding a previous baby, such as in my second and third pregnancies. Usually a bit of food made it vanish. This time, I was having frequent nausea, though still mild. It came at weird times though, like sometimes very soon after eating. I would be sure that I didn't need food, and food sounded so unappealing anyway. So I would let it go for a half hour to an hour, as it grew worse and worse, until finally I'd just go ahead and make myself eat, and usually it went away. Why I would get morning sickness and need to eat after JUST EATING is beyond me. Pregnancy is so weird.

Anyway, I seem to be past that, and feeling better. I know that my pregnancies are still a lot easier than a lot of people's, so I'm very grateful for that. But I do worry what my tenth pregnancy will be like, at this rate! lol

The Risks (?) of Multiple Pregnancies and Cesareans

Any woman who decides to have more than the "normal" amount of children is definitely going to hear unsolicited opinions about the wiseness of their choice. This is especially true of your family members and your doctors. Your family members are probably indoctrinated from the television, and believe anything the "idiot box" says. (I am embarrassed to admit that I still haven't been able to completely break my tv habit, but I most certainly do NOT believe what talk show hosts and tv news shows tell me to believe.)

Your mother (sibling/cousin/aunt/etc.) is sure to tell you how dangerous it is, how unhealthy it is, how hard it is, how expensive it is, etc. The ironic thing is that some of these people may have had many children themselves, and got through it just fine. My mom did. We were well-fed, well-clothed, and had more than a lot of smaller families we knew, even on my dad's very small income. They have been taught by the tv and by society that anyone who has more than two or three children (at MOST) is being reckless and taking their lives in their hands. Nothing could be further from the truth. While having more children does take more of a toll on your body, if you are eating right and exercising, you can greatly minimize the impact.

When you visit your obstetrician, be prepared. With each additional child, you will feel more pressure from your doctor to tie your tubes, use contraception, etc. He or she will bombard you with frightening statistics and, if you let your guard down, make you feel foolish for even considering it. This will be even worse if you have had any c-sections...and if you've had multiple sections, they will make it sound as if your uterus will explode if you try to have even one more child.

I urge anyone wanting to have more children to research it for yourself. And not just the typical medical journal studies, either. Visit the International Cesarean Awareness Network for more information. Also read books about cesarean sections. Even women who haven't had one should research this if they plan to have more. Cesarean sections do carry risks with them, and when you have a doctor trying to talk you into your first one, or to talk you into a repeat c-section instead of a VBAC, they will minimize the risks to you in order to get you to do what they want. Once you have your third or fourth child, the doctors will suddenly tell you that the risks are too high.

With even one c-section, you raise your risk for future tubal pregnancies, placenta previa, placenta accreta, uterine rupture, and other complications during future pregnancies. These risks are not high, but they are there. The risks will raise with each c-section, though not as high as doctors often claim. If you do your research, you will find that the studies they quote often lump cases together that should be in separate categories in order to make it an honest, accurate assessment of risks in the study. When you look up studies that appropriately separate cases into more detailed categories, it gives you a more accurate picture of the risks, and you find the risks are lower than doctors often state.

One example is in the case of "uterine ruptures". This is the scare tactic used most by doctors, making it sound as if your uterus will explode and you and your child will instantly die if you get one. This is highly exaggerated. The uterine rupture that is most worrisome is the "catastrophic rupture" where your uterus tears all the way through. This can be very dangerous, and if you are not able to get into a surgery suite very quickly, there can be fatal consequences for both mother and child. However, these are rare. Most uterine ruptures are partial ruptures, where the uterine muscle tears through only part of the uterine wall. In the case of "window" ruptures, the rupture is a very small one that only goes through a layer of the uterus...it does not go all the way through. Many women get these, and they are not at all dangerous, and usually when having a c-section the doctor looks for these and repairs them. The studies often quoted by doctors usually do not differentiate between the serious and non-serious ruptures. Doctors often imply that these studies are referring to catastrophic ruptures when in reality they are lumping all types of ruptures together.

My last doctor used the "exploding uterus" ploy the last time. I expect this new doctor will use the "paper thin uterus" ploy after my next c-section. Your uterus can become thinner after many pregnancies, and this does up the risk of ruptures, but this is often exaggerated.

I cannot tell you how many women I have met who have been told that they should NEVER have another baby again, or they will surely die...and these women ignored their doctors and went on to have six, eight, or ten healthy children. Some of these women had c-sections, some didn't. All were given various reasons, all their doctors were certain that they were doomed, or that their children would be abnormal, etc. and none of their predictions turned out to be true. I met a woman once who had had NINE c-sections...so far. I know someone personally who has had seven...so far. They, like me, are quiverfull-minded.

Now, I don't want anyone to misunderstand me--c-sections can be dangerous. ANY surgery can be fatal. The thing that scares me most is blood clots. Not long ago, I heard of a woman who died three weeks after giving birth, from a blood clot that broke loose. Another mother I heard about online recently died of a blood clot when amniotic fluid leaked into her bloodstream as the baby was lifted out of her stomach. You can get a blood clot after dental surgery. So to me, blood clots scare me more than possible ruptures. My biggest piece of advice is do everything you can to avoid getting a c-section in the first place. Someone I know had one for what I personally believed wasn't a good reason. I warned her she was more likely to have tubal pregnancies, fertility problems, and more c-sections in the future. She chose to have one. Maybe it was the right decision. The next time she got pregnant it was tubal, and then couldn't get pregnant for a long time. The next pregnancy, her doctor was pushing at the end for a c-section, as I predicted. I strongly urged her not to get one. She was going to, but at the last minute was able to have it naturally. She was lucky, but she will face the same pressure from her doctor with each pregnancy.

Here is how I made my decision to keep having children. My faith. I do not believe in controlling my births. How can I say I trust God with everything...except my family size? I feel like I would be saying "God, I trust you with my marriage, my faith, my money, my life...but I know you cannot be trusted to keep my family size down to what I can handle. I just know you're going to give me twenty kids, and I know that I can't handle it. So I'm just going to cut you out of this area of my life. Sorry, but in this area, I know best." Notice all the "I" and the "I know"? I don't think most women think consciously like this, but when you break it down, that's the truth of it. Believe me, I sympathize! There are times I think "hey, just how many kids are you going to give me?!" It's a little scarier when they come close together. I really would like a large family, but in my weaker moments I just don't know how I can handle it.

And that, my friends, is the problem. "How will I handle it?" I, again. I, I, I. What we forget is that God will never give us more than we can handle....with HIS help! He will certainly give us more than we can handle alone, because we aren't meant to do it alone! Just because you don't use birth control, doesn't mean you will have twenty children. In fact, unless you are eighteen and very fertile, and don't breastfeed well, that is very unlikely. The only reason I have mine so close is that I don't produce milk well. Once I got a handle on it, I had twelve months between pregnancies, and around 22 months between births. I'm only pregnant now because I was an idiot and didn't try hard enough to do what I needed to to keep my milk production up, and ended up stopping altogether. And even then, God gave me a couple of extra months. Most people I've known personally only had around 6-8. Several I knew had only two or three. That's just all God gave them. Several I knew couldn't have any, and had to adopt. Only a handful of families had eleven or more, and they had married pretty young and had been quiverfull all along, and had babies longer than other women had.

Chances are I won't have more than six or eight. My mom went through the change early, and I may also. We'll see. I truly believe God knows best. And although my mom and my doctors think I'm crazy, I trust God as far as the c-sections go. Doesn't God carry us all in the palm of His hand? Not one hair on our heads will be harmed unless God permits it. If I die during a c-section, it will be because my time has come, not because I was "reckless" or "crazy". If it is my time to go, what better way to give up my life than in total submission to God, while giving life to another? I think that is a far better way to go than getting hit by a bus, suffering a heart attack, dying from cancer, getting mugged, or any myriad of other ways I could die. When God calls me home, I will go, and it doesn't matter if I am driving a car or giving birth. He will choose the time, and if it happens to be while I am giving birth so be it. I can't outrun it by avoiding His will. He will find me wherever I am. And hopefully when He does, I will be doing His will.

I hope everyone reads this and understands this to be an expression of my thinking and my beliefs, and not a criticism. I know others believe differently. My intention is only to express my own beliefs, and to maybe give others a new perspective to ponder.

May God bless you all, and please pray for me and my unborn child.

Question About Repeat C-Sections

I had a question a little while back in the comments section, and just recently realized that I'd overlooked it. I think it's a good question, and it's something every woman should know about. So Faraja, I apologize, and here is your question and my response:

"How did you find it having 4 c-sections (and will you need one again for the 5th?) I've had 3, and we'd love another baby but so many people (including my doctor) are saying I shouldn't do another c-section."

Well, as far as my experience with four c-sections, I hated having them. I desperately wanted to have a child normally, but let them talk me into the first one, even though I believe it was NOT necessary. This is very common. Doctors would rather do a c-section because it is quicker and easier for them, so they can get back to their office and back home, plus they consider it safer (for them) than being bothered to continue with a vaginal birth that isn't going as easily as they had hoped. It is definitely not safer for you and the baby, unless there are real signs of distress or some true need for it. "Failure to progress" and "cephalo-pelvic disproportion" (baby's head won't fit through your pelvis) are the two catch-phrases often used (and abused) as reasons for c-sections. There's no reason to be worried about "failure to progress" unless there are problems with you or the baby, such as fetal heartbeat dropping significantly. Doctors are in a big hurry nowadays. They do NOT want to let you labor. They want to get it over with, and the hospital wants that room available for the next mom.

CPD was the supposed reason for my c-section. The doctor said the baby's head wouldn't fit. Now I am more educated. After birth my son's head was perfect...there was no molding of the head at all as there should have been if my son's head had actually tried to go through my pelvis. I knew at the time the whole thing was bogus, but I was exhausted, in excruciating pain, and the nurses told me I couldn't have any more drugs unless I agreed to a c-section. Basically they blackmailed me. (All I'd had was a small dose of demerol--NEVER get that--and a half dose of an epidural.) Later after talking it over with my husband, we both believe that I wasn't fully dilated at the time they told me to push. There wasn't even a nurse in the room for about 99% of the time I pushed. It was a nightmare.

My second birth was an emergency c-section, because I had pre-eclampsia. That one I think was necessary, because as it turned out, there were also two knots in the cord. The third one I wanted to have a homebirth with a midwife, but where I lived at that time, state law prohibited midwives from attending VBAC births where there had been a c-section within less than 18 months, and I had had only thirteen months between those births. For the last birth, I had given up on finding a midwife to accept me, then heard that in this area, there are some women who have had safe home births after three or four c-sections. I found a couple of midwives who would have done it, but because of my other health risks (weight, gestational diabetes, etc.) and the fact that I was so far along (in my third trimester) they decided against taking me. I was pretty devastated. But this time I actually found a holistically-based hospital, and (as c-sections go) it was very enjoyable. The staff was great, the room was great, they even doulas and masseuses on staff. I had to travel an hour to get to the hospital, but it was worth it.

I was fortunate that my recovery from all of my c-sections has been relatively easy compared to some women, and my pregnancies haven't been bad either. However, I will say that each successive pregnancy and each surgery has been a little harder each time. Not only am I having more children than the average mom today, but I'm having them closer than most women (who breastfeed) do. So with the stress on my body, plus my age (almost 35), I guess it's to be expected that each pregnancy and surgery might be a little tougher.

I'll comment more on the risks (and the exaggerations about them) of c-sections in the next post.

Christmas Day Programming

Just to let everyone know, if you are interested in some quality Christmas Day programming, tune in online at wftsradio.com and see what they have listed for the day. They don't post their programming schedule ahead of time, unfortunately, but if you check periodically throughout the day, they will usually update.

My guess as to their programming for Christmas Day is that it will probably have a few talks about Christmas, probably by Father Jenkins and Mother Mary Bosco, and perhaps some sermons from yesterday (Sunday 12/24/06), the day of Christmas Eve. Perhaps even some Midnight Mass sermons or music.

There will surely be some Christmas Carols sung by the Daughters of Mary played in the extra space in between shows. The sisters sell their music online, and you can listen to pieces of the songs.

I wish you all a very Blessed Christmas!

The True Meaning of Christmas

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by Him, and without Him was made nothing that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men: and the light shineth in darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. This man came for a witness to give testimony of the light, that all men might believe through him. He was not the light, but was to give testimony of the light. That was the true light which enlighteneth every man that cometh into this world. He was in the world, and the world was made by Him, and the world knew Him not. He came unto His own, and His won received Him not. But as many as received Him, to them He gave power to become the sons of God: to them that believe in His name: who are born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, or of the will of man, but of God...

And the Word was made flesh,

and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, the glory as of the only-begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:1-14

Sleep, Holy Babe
A Christmas Carol

Sleep, holy Babe, upon Thy mother's breast,
Great Lord of earth and sea and sky
How sweet it is to see Thee lie
In such a state of rest.

Sleep, holy Babe, Thine angels watch around,
All bending low with folded wings,
Before the Incarnate King of Kings
With reverent awe, profound.

Sleep, holy Babe, while I with Mary gaze
In joy upon that face awhile,
Upon that loving Infant smile
Which there divinely plays.

Sleep, holy Babe, now snatch Thy brief repose,
Too quickly will Thy slumber break,
And Thou to lengthened pains awake,
Which death alone shall close.

Let us not forget the greatest Christmas gift of all...

"For God so loved the world, as to give His only begotten Son, that whosoever should believeth in Him, may not perish, but may have everlasting life."
John 3:16

What a reminder of the perfect example of giving, of love, of sacrifice...an innocent Child, Who we think of, helpless and innocent in the manger, knowing what His destiny will be. The epitome of purity and innocence...a baby. But not any baby--the divine Infant, Christ Jesus, Who was begotten without sin, lived without sin, and yet died the death due a sinner...Who took on the punishment for us all, so that we may be saved. And think of Mary and Joseph, looking down upon their Son, knowing all the prophesies spoken of the Messiah, and knowing at least in part, the sorrows He was someday to endure.

What a great gift of love and sacrifice it was for Mary to say "yes" to God when she was asked to carry the Son of God, knowing the ridicule she would endure, knowing the sorrows that would pierce her heart. How many among us would want to have a child, knowing in advance, and for certain, that horrors and sorrow would befall our child, and that we would have to watch and suffer in silence? And yet, in perfect obedience, she did not question, but simply said "yes". St. Joseph, too, must have had such great faith. Knowing not only that his Son would suffer greatly, but that he, his foster-father and the leader of the family, would be able to do nothing to protect Him. He took on a great burden for the love of God. He was told in dreams to take Mary as his wife, to flee with his family to Egypt, and eventually to return to Nazareth. Each time, he simply obeyed.

Love, sacrifice, and redemption. These are the true gifts we should cherish this Christmas season. This is what Christmas is all about.

Christ, the Light of the World, Is Born!!!

Gloria in Excelsis Deo!

"And it came to pass, that when they were there, her days were accomplished, that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him up in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds watching, and keeping the night watches over their flock. And behold an angel of the Lord stood by them, and the brightness of God shone round about them, and they feared with a great fear. And the angel said to them: Fear not; for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, that shall be to all the people; for this day is born to you a Saviour, Who is Christ the Lord, in the city of David. And this shall be a sign unto you: You shall find the infant wrapped in swaddling clothes, and laid in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly army, praising God, and saying: Glory to God in the highest; and on earth peace to men of good will. " Luke 2:6-14

"O come, all ye faithful,
Joyful and triumphant,
Come ye, O come ye
To Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him,
Born the King of Angels.
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord."

Problems with the Kimkins Link

I posted this as an answer to a comment, but I thought I'd repeat it here in case anyone else was interested.

One of my readers said the link to the Kimkins website wasn't working. I don't know what happened, Blogger seemed to eat it...it turned into some kind of Blogger link. I have fixed it now. If it happens again, please let me know. I'll list it here, too: Kimkins Website

I would love it if anyone interested in Kimkins use my link to get to it...if you sign up, I do get credit for it, and get a little "kickback." After a while, I figured if I'm going to extoll the virtues of the site and give them free advertising, I might as well get something out of it!

But I'd recommend the diet even if someone chose not to use my link. I really believe in the diet, it's the only one that worked really well for me. Atkins was good too, but Kimkins is faster, and has great hunger control if you're faithful to it. The best thing about the website is that if you join, you not only get all the info and support you need (very personal, too, you can ask Kimmer herself any questions), but also it is a one-time fee. So even though I'm pregnant now, I can still visit the site if I want, but if I don't, I can just jump back in a year from now when I'm ready to go on the diet again, and there's no additional costs.

I'm really struggling not being on the diet now. I miss the hunger control, but most of all I miss feeling good. My mood swings and some of the depression are back. I need to find more carb balance. There's got to be a way to eat healthy for my baby and not suffer from carb-induced depression!

I'm happy to answer any questions about the diet. I know the website doesn't give a lot of info about it up front. You can also look at my November and December posts from this blog and from my other blog, Weigh Out Of Control for more details.

And to anyone on the diet, good luck!

Meditation on theJourney to Bethlehem

"At that time, there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that the whole world should be enrolled. This enrolling was first made by Cyrinus, the governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary his espoused wife, who was with child. " Luke 2:1-5

The journey to Bethlehem would have been difficult for anyone during the time of Jesus' birth. Walking long, dusty, rocky roads along with many other travelers and their animals who were also seeking out the cities of their ancestors' birth for the census. But one can only imagine the experience of Mary, who was nine months pregnant at the time.

Those of us who have been pregnant know only too well how difficult it is to bend over, get up out of bed or out of an easy chair, to do even the simplest household tasks. If you've been unfortunate enough to have to travel by car or air or to move during your last weeks of pregnancy, you know the fatigue and discomfort this brings. But imagine how weary and uncomfortable Mary must have been...likely she tried to often shift positions on her donkey, or get down occasionally and try to walk, only to have to somehow get back up on its back because walking was too difficult. Sleeping on the hard ground at night would have been a nightmare. Needing to stop often to rest, or drink, or answer nature's call would have made the trip even longer.

It is no wonder that by the time they reached Bethlehem, for all Joseph's planning and effort to get his wife there in time to get her a proper and comfortable room, they arrived too late. Once there, they were so late that there was not even room on the floor of an inn for his patient wife. Poor St. Joseph must have felt so awful! Imagine his worry and desperation, and how guilty he must have felt that he couldn't even provide his wife a bed, knowing she was ready to give birth. Though it was through no fault of his own, he must have been beside himself...exhausted, worried, sick with guilt, and desperate to find her somewhere, anywhere she could be comfortable. It was enough that his poor wife would have nowhere to give birth, but the idea that the Son of God should be born in a public alleyway if he did not find somewhere soon...it must have been more than he could bear. But he continued on, likely both of them praying and having faith that God would provide them a place.

In the end, they were told of a stable. The idea must have been disappointing to Joseph, but no doubt by this time he was grateful because now at least Mary could be made somewhat comfortable, and they would have privacy. The relief they felt upon reaching the stable must have been palpable. Mary, weary and in great discomfort, must have been very glad indeed to rest upon the straw, and was no doubt joyful that the birth of her Son was near. Mary, who was present for the birth of her cousin, St. John (the Baptist) and possibly other relatives, knew what to expect, but St. Joseph, being a man alone with no midwife to help, and not having any intimate knowledge of his wife, must have been concerned and very unsure of himself. He prayed often for strength and wisdom, to be able to aid Mary in any way he could, and that the birth might go well and easily for her.

"O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel."

It's Official!

Blessing # 5 is on the way! I tested positive last night. I'm kind of surprised. I usually don't test positive until I'm two weeks late. Although I'm not sure when the date of my last period was (poor recordkeeping, lol) I didn't think I would test positive til next Tuesday or Wednesday. I don't feel pregnant, really. I guess I feel tired, but not overly so. Going to bed at an insane hour lately is probably responsible for that. I also had been feeling lately that I just could not do the diet anymore. Which is probably my body's way of saying "stop dieting, you're pregnant, you dummy!"

Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised, since unfortunately I stopped breastfeeding at five months postpartum. (I plan to do everything in my power to avoid that happening this time around.) I should be more surprised that it took so long to get pregnant! But God knows what is best, which is why we trust Him with the size of our family. I had a year between the last two pregnancies, and felt ready when I got pregnant. I feel that I'll be ready for another baby when this one comes, but I wasn't quite feeling ready to be pregnant yet, lol! I don't at all mind the first trimester...it's the third that I hate. It's been getting harder each time. But I shouldn't complain. My pregnancies have been relatively easy. God has blessed me that way. It's probably to make up for the fact that, due to circumstances beyond my control, I've been forced to have all four of my children by cesarean.

Being pregnant does explain why, since I've gone of the diet in the last week, I have gained back HALF of what I lost!!! If I eat properly in the first trimester, I tend to lose a little weight. Then I stabilize in the second, and gain in the third (partly due to getting tired of "watching" what I eat). This time I plan to follow either the Weston A. Price diet or the Blue Ribbon Baby diet. I've heard good things about both. The first I believe is a good, all-around healthy way of eating for anyone. Some people with wheat or milk allergies tend to find they can tolerate wheat and milk on this diet, when they eat it as the diet prescribes. The second diet claims to virtually eliminate the risk of pre-eclampsia and toxemia. I have had pre-eclampsia with my second pregnancy, and I had gestational diabetes with the fourth. I hope proper diet will help me avoid such complications.

I still plan to reduce my carbs (Americans eat WAY too many) but in a way that is healthy for pregnancy. Most of my carbs will come from fruit and vegetables, and homemade, organic whole wheat bread. I want to get a grinder for grinding wheat berries for fresh flour. Whole wheat begins to lose nutrients within hours of grinding.

I hope everyone is having a good Advent!

God bless.

Temporarily off diet

I've decided to go off the diet temporarily. My cycle is late, and I suspect I am pregnant. I don't feel pregnant, though. My husband says I don't "look" pregnant (he can always tell from the changes in my body). But just in case, I'm going off the diet temporarily. This diet is very very low carb, and not suitable for pregnant or nursing women. I'll let you know what happens. I never test positive until I'm two weeks late, so I have another week to go.

"Confirm Clearly" Pregnancy Tests Are Giving False Positives

This is a shame to hear. I am soooo glad I didn't buy these. I was thinking about it, since I could get pregnant at any time now. Bad enough to waste the money, but what about the emotional scars that such a test could give? Pregnancy tests can often give false negatives, but not usually false positives. Imagine how terrible it would be for a woman who has been trying to get pregnant for a while? Sheesh!

Check this out. Apparently Tammy's husband is pregnant!

Learning About Sin

Okay, I admit it...I'm feeling a bit of maternal pride, lately! My four year old son has gotten to that stage where he is really growing as a person. Sometimes I think he is being a better example to me than I am to him.

We often read him religious picture books that we have acquired. These are often kept put up, and taken down on occasion or when we go to Mass. (They are easily torn.) We have them on subjects such as angels, St. Joseph, the Crucifixion, Easter, praying, Bible stories, Mary, and one about a little girl who led a remarkably holy and short life. His favorite by far is the one about "Jesus dying on the Cross", as he says. He sometimes takes it to naptime with him, and will study it for the longest time. He remarks often that "someday I want to be a priest, so I can teach the Roman soldiers a lesson about God, so they won't go to Hell". He says this also about pirates, mean people, and various other "bad guys." Oh, and he also wants to be a firefighter. I suppose it would be a good combination, because then he could save sinner from real fires and the fires of Hell!

He asks me sometimes whether something is a sin or not, and if it is a big sin or a little sin. Naturally I tell him all sin is bad because it offends God very much, Who is perfect and should never be offended. But I also tell him about the differences in sin, and that although all sin is bad, all sin is not equal. I'm glad to see that it is something he wants to learn about, yet is not inordinately preoccupied with it.

Not long ago, he was chastised and sent to his room for some offense. I wasn't there at the time. After a few minutes, he was allowed to come downstairs. Without being asked, he went to my husband and apologized, and said "Daddy, while I was up in my room I kneeled down and told God I sinned and asked Him to forgive me." Awwwww! What a sweetie. I have to give my husband credit for that one--he often has before-bed talks with my son on such subjects as forgiveness and mercy. And of course, it's always good to have Veggie Tales movies for reinforcement of those lessons!

Mommy, I Made a Sacrifice!

Recently, this is what I hear quite often around the house. A while back, while watching the cartoon "The Day the Sun Danced", which is about the story of the children of Fatima, I explained to my four year old son what sacrifice means. In the video, the children were making little "sacrifices" to God for the sake of poor sinners. They would give their meager lunches to poor children, say prayers, and offer up their own sufferings as a sacrifice for the purpose of earning extra grace for sinners, that the sinners might accept God's grace and save their souls. The children did not want sinners go to Hell.

My son asked many questions, and has a pretty good grasp on the concept. When he doesn't feel like sharing his toys, sometimes he will pause thoughtfully, then walk over and give the toy to a sibling. Then he'll run smiling to me and say "Mommy, I made a sacrifice! I gave my toy to my brother, even though I didn't want to." The first time he did this, it brought tears to my eyes. I'm so proud of him!

The funny thing is, he doesn't quite understand that you can only offer up your OWN sacrifices to God. When his sister hurts her foot, he will say "mommy, I'm offering up her pain as a sacrifice for poor sinners." I tell him that is very nice, but since it is her suffering, then she has to be the one to do it. LOL, he still doesn't quite get that part!

The children are very giving towards each other. Although they don't always share, and there are plenty of squabbles over toys, they are learning to be kind to one another. The teaching about sacrifice just makes it easier to do. My son has really taken this to heart, and has made him think more often about the needs and feelings of others.

I am glad that we have that movie to remind the children about sacrifice. Many of the problems of this world could be solved today if people had the proper attitude about love and sacrifice. Love IS sacrifice. If you are not willing to make some sacrifices for the ones you love, then you do not truly love them. This is why so many marriages fail today. People think it is all about the emotion, the passion, and most of all, the fun. Once it isn't fun anymore, once hard times hit, once a sacrifice is required of them, they want to get out of the marriage. Suddenly they are bored, or have "fallen out of love", or it is just "too hard". They act like fourteen year olds with their first summer job: "Gee, it's not fun anymore, I think I want a new job." If we train our young people to understand that true love is sacrifice, then they will know that when marital hard times hit, it's time to roll up their sleeves and do some hard "work" to make the marriage better.

The Bible is filled with examples of love being sacrifice: "For God so loved the world, as to give His only-begotten Son" 1 John 3:16. God sacrificed His Son for love of us. Jesus was willing to suffer severe torture and death for love of us. Mary stood by and watched in agony as her Son was slaughtered, never raising a hand to stop it...because although she loved her Son, she also loved God and wanted to obey Him, and she loved all of us too, and knew that her Son must die so that we might live. All these are examples of true love, with the love of God and Jesus being the only perfect love. Although we are not capable of such depths of love, we should aspire to emulate it.

If we are not willing to make sacrifices for others, then we love ourselves more than anyone else, even more than God. That's not to say that we should make all sacrifices every time. But we should have a general attitude of being willing to sacrifice. This comes more easily in regards to our children...but when it comes to our marriages, to our fellow man? Not always easy.

I'm glad my son has learned this lesson early. He truly loves his younger siblings and (most of the time) has their best interests at heart. If only I could more often follow his sweet example!

Patience is a Virtue...passed on to your children!

As some of you know, patience is something I have struggled with, especially in the area of child raising. I didn't see having four children as all that much harder than three, but I'm entering a stage now where my infant daughter is becoming more demanding. I often find myself with four children demanding my attention at once, with so much going on that I end up snapping at one or more of the children, before I even hear what they are saying. This can produce many problems, including one child feeling like I don't want to hear what he has to say, or another child feeling like he has no way to express himself. That is why I have really been working on this lately.

I've found that being on my new diet has helped. I am rarely depressed anymore, and have a lot more energy and patience. I also have recently realized that the discipline problems I've been having with my two year old have most likely stemmed from a frustration of not being understood. He sees his older siblings talking and being listened to, whereas he is still learning new words, and didn't know how to properly assert himself and be heard. Instead of stating what he wanted, or telling someone how he felt, he would just scream. Or should I say, shriek! He was throwing himself on the floor often throughout the day, and having fits. Believe me, I know the fault is mine. Somehow along the way, he got a little bit spoiled, and adding that to his excitable temperament...well, let's just say it's a bad combination.

My solution? First, I spent a day or two being extremely patient with him, and instead of punishing him on the first offense, I would explain to him that he needed to use his words like a big boy, and tell me what he wanted, or tell his siblings when he wanted them to stop doing something. I might give him one more chance after that, then he would be disciplined. When I saw him use his words instead of screaming, I lavished him with praise and affection. After a few days, he was really getting the hang of it. I also noticed that he went through a maturing process around the same time (I say halleluia when this time comes in every child's life!) and he has not only started talking more and behaving more "grown up", but is also obeying better, wanting to help out more, and learning to be nicer to his siblings. He is even learning to share and make sacrifices for them now, like his older brother does.

Ah, the blessings of a (slightly) quieter house!

Line Training: A Variation of Blanket Training

After hearing the virtues of blanket training a baby on many websites, including the Duggars, I decided to Google it. I found a post on Prarie Frog Blog about a variation of this, called Line Training. I'm having trouble accessing any Homeschoolblogger blogs lately...I'm assuming it is down. So here is a cached version of the post, which is below another post about spoon feeding a baby.

Basically she used strips of webbing (woven strap material) instead of a blanket. She started training with a square made of the webbing and used it in place of a blanket, then after that she just used a line of it across a doorway. I like this idea. Much cheaper and more portable than baby gates, and it gives the baby a lot more room than just a blanket area.

I'll be trying this myself on my nine month old daughter, who is getting more interested in exploration. For some reason, she was OBSESSED with my end table full of remotes, books, etc. But when we put up the Christmas tree...nothing. She didn't even notice the giant, wide, sparkly tree in the corner. After lighting it, she BARELY noticed it. Then suddenly a week later, there she is with an ornament in her mouth. Yikes! Time for some training. Right now I'm just not leaving her unattended with the tree, and saying "No!" if she goes to touch it. She's actually listening about 90% of the time...the other 10% she waits til I'm not looking and makes a second grab for it, lol. I love the idea of line training, because instead of having a big gated off area in front of the tree, I can just tape down a line around it. Hmmm, maybe I need to do this with the two year old who is NOT obeying 90% of the time when I tell him to stop stripping ornaments off of the tree!

Pine Cone Christmas Decor

The time has arrived for Christmas decorating. Boy, it feels like I just took my decorations down a few months ago. Wait a minute, I DID just take my decorations down a few months ago!

No, I'm not quite that bad, but I did keep them up until probably late spring. Hey, we leave ours up until February 2, the Feast of the Purification, and by then I was eight months pregnant. Give a girl a break! We got the tree down before the baby came, just not the rest. ;-)

Anyway, I want to do a better job this year, so I'm making plans. Problem is, my empty wallet isn't agreeable to my plans! So as usual, I am coming up with some low cost/no cost decorating ideas, and I'll share them as I find them. And first on my list: pine cones.

Pine cones are an ideal Christmas decoration, as most people can scrounge them for free. I filled baskets with them last year, and arranged them artistically on shelves and around our Nativity scene. I also tied ribbon to them and used them as ornaments on our sparsely decorated tree. You could also hang them along the top of window treatments, dangle a bouquet of them topped with a bow from an archway, use a styrofoam cone and hot glue pine cones to it to make a pine cone tree, or find a way to string them together to make pine cone garland or swags. You can also paint them in gold paint, or roll them in glue and dip in glitter, if you want the mess (yikes). Just google "pine cone Christmas decoration" and you'll come up with many ideas.

Now, if you don't have pine trees, where do you get them? Ask a neighbor, friend, or family member who has pine trees. Or collect them from a local park or a state park. Don't trespass on private property, and find out first if it's okay to take pine cones off of public trees (I can't help you with that one). If it isn't, pick clean ones off the ground...I wouldn't think that would be a problem. Take the nice ones and leave the ugly ones to go to seed. You can also buy them at craft stores, but they won't be cheap. I got a dozen from Walmart for about $3. They were cinnamon scented, which I loved...for two days. Then the scent was gone. Don't waste your money on scented pine cones.

The craft ideas for pine cones is limited only by your imagination...pine cone Santas, snowmen, wreaths, firestarters, you name it. You don't need a lot of money to make a home pretty for Christmas.

Happy decorating!

Post-Thanksgiving

Sorry to be away so long. I've been so wrapped up in my diet that I've neglected this blog. Too much going on: updating my Fitday several times a day, posting my weight in two or more places online, and keeping up with two weight loss blogs (and only one of them very well).

I'm that kind of person--I get obsessed with something for a while, then move on to something else. But I'm not doing that this time. I need to lose this weight too badly. The diet is going very well. I've lost almost twelve pounds in the last two weeks. The first week is always a lot of water weight. I expect to lose at least three pounds a week, although I'm hoping for more. I'd like five, that would be great. Some women have lost 6 1/2 or 7, but I don't want to get my hopes too high. I love this diet. My hunger is non-existent, and I cannot believe how little I am eating. It was impossible to eat so little on the plain low-calorie diets.

On this diet, I'm eating small amounts, but I am full. And not the Ugh-I'm-So-Full fullness, but the kind of fullness you feel when you are satisfied but not at all stuffed. I don't think I ever felt that before. I was never sure if I was satisfied or not, until I was really full. And I was always afraid that if I didn't eat enough before bedtime, I would wake up starving, and ruin my sleep by having to get up for a snack (this usually only happened during pregnancy, but I started to feel this fear all the time). I normally kept snack bars by my bedside during pregnancy or nursing in case that happened, but I had gotten to the point that I kept a box there even when I didn't really need it.

Before this diet, I was feeling completely out of control in my eating habits. I felt like I was losing it. I felt like an addict. The last few months I actually found myself going to find food as soon as I didn't feel full anymore. It was insane! Now I don't think about food that much at all, and when I do, it's only "gee, that sounds good". I can handle that. I need to make sure I eat, so I don't get those thoughts. Yes, sometimes I forget to eat! Although usually I know I need to eat, but I'm too lazy to make something, lol.

I am so much happier. I don't feel depressed anymore. I'm much more patient with my kids, and most days are good days. More importantly, on the bad ones, I DON'T go running to food. I admit there was one horrendous day where I was tempted, but I overcame it. Before, a day like that would send me running to the store for a bunch of junk food.

Not only that, but for Thanksgiving, I made a Kimkins-friendly meal for my family. My husband is on the diet too, and has been SOOO supportive. My kids eat what's put in front of them, and they liked it (they normally have high carb breakfast and lunch, so I don't always add carbs to their dinner). The only off-plan item on the menu was a low carb pumpkin custard with whipped cream. Basically a crustless low carb pumpkin pie in custard cups. They were about 6 carbs each. Now, I do admit to eating TWO :-0 but I kept my total carb count to 22 (no net carbs here), so I only went over my limit by 2 carbs. I'm really proud of myself!!

Anyway, I'll try to post a homemaking-related article soon!