I'm Back!

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've turned into one of THOSE bloggers...the kind who rarely every posts, so I get bored checking in with them and take them off my boomarks list. LOL. At least Blogger finally let me sign in. Sheesh!

We've decided to wait until summer to buy a house. In the meantime, we found a five bedroom home to rent. It was really cheap, and now we know why. We knew the original builder had gone bankrupt, and this house and a couple of others were sold to an investor. Now the investor is ready to be foreclosed on, because he can't sell it either. We were told the price was too high. Oh, my friends, that's not the REAL reason. The real reason is that the contractor who built this was either a moron or a crook who used sub-standard crews. The drywall looks like it was done by ten year olds. I am NOT kidding! Places where they messed up are covered over with a splotch of joint compound, not leveled or sanded, then painted over. And they messed up a LOT. Some things, like the appliances, aren't bad. Others, like the doors, look fine, but are actually made very cheaply. The bannister for the stairs shakes. The phone outlets were connected to each other, but not the outgoing phone line (requiring the phone company to spend 6 1/2 hours here to fix it), and the carpet is so cheap that my daughter's hair looks like a dirty lint mop from all the carpet fibers she has picked up! No wonder the house hasn't sold!

The good news is, it isn't likely to sell anytime soon, and we have a six month lease anyway. And we got a good rate on the rent. And there is a SuperWalmart only three minutes away. YAY!

We should be ready to buy this summer (God willing) and finally have a home of our own. I can't wait to paint a wall!!!

There has been a complication in my pregnancy. Everything is okay so far. But that's a whole other post.

My "baby" is now one year old. She's so big! And finally she's at a good weight...for some reason my girls are so petite, it's hard to get them to gain. Which makes it hard when there are so many fat babies out there. Funny how doctors want fat babies, but once they're two or three years old, if they're too big, they want them to be skinny.

I just ordered "Created to be His Helpmeet" last night. Can't wait to get it. I've heard good things, but was never interested, based on exerpts I had read. My husband was definitely not a "Mr. Visionary" as the book describes, and that's what I've heard the most about. But last night I read an exerpt that talked about "Mr. Steady"...wow, that is my husband! Not 100%...I would never call him wishy-washy or too slow to make a decision, or one who wouldn't take a stand on a church issue, etc. But he is very stable, and definitely goes above and beyond helping me. Debi Pearl says many wives of a Mr. Steady end up with hormonal imbalances or health problems. There wasn't enough detail to know exactly why, but she seemed to be saying that strong women married to a Mr. Steady had a tendency to lose respect for him and take over as spiritual head of the family, etc. Perhaps she meant that because of this, many women end up stressed out or emotionally wrecked, I don't know....we'll see when I get the book.

I definitely don't lose respect for my husband when he works hard to take over many of my duties and give me time to myself...actually, I lose respect for myself. I feel like a failure, and end up hating myself for it. It's not his fault, it's mine. I've known for a while that I'm letting him help me too much. But I'm so overwhelmed with...life...that I'm afraid to tell him that, for fear he won't help enough, and I'll feel worse. I really hope the book helps me, because I think she's really on to something.

I know I need to let go more, and not try to control so much. After reading "Fascinating Womanhood", I gave up control of the money (well, mostly) which helped a lot. I need to give up more control, and try not to manipulate him so much. He's a good husband, and I worry that he is losing respect for me.

In the meantime, while I wait for the book (I got it on MP3 so I can listen to it, otherwise I'll never finish it) I will be reviewing Fascinating Womanhood and trying again to implement her suggested changes. Last night I fixed myself up for my husband before he got home and I cleaned up the house, even though my day had been awful. He really liked it. And I felt better about myself, too.

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